


Just Friends, I Swear...

by amybri2002



Category: Phandom, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), The Sims (Video Games), dan and phil
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 20:33:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 28,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11409699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amybri2002/pseuds/amybri2002
Summary: We've known each other since we were toddlers...And we've always been friends...JUST friends, I swear......but as we got older...Things changed.[A Dan and Phil Sims 4 fanfiction, focused on Dab Howlter and Evan Pancakes. They are teenagers going to highschool, but this was written before they became teens in the original playthrough, so there will be inaccuracies. Hope you enjoy! :D]





	1. Old Friends

_I hid behind my mother, staring at the strange boy trying to talk to me. Who was he? Why was he here? And who was the other man behind him, talking to Mum? I looked up at Mum. She didn't seem afraid. She knew him? The boy waved at me. I moved even further behind my Mum._

_"Evan," Mum said, "this is Dil, and his son Dab."_

_I tilted my head. Dab smiled._

_"Go on, say hello," Mum encouraged._

_I slowly emerged from behind Mum, and approached Dab. I took a deep breath, and spoke... "S-so, uh... t-triangles?" Dab grinned at me enthusiastically. Could this be the start of a new friendship...?_

_No. I hardly knew him. He was a stranger._

_Terrified, I ran back inside the house._

~*~

Ok Dab, stay calm, you don't want to ruin this new friendship... _I thought to myself, as I approached my neighbour and soon-to-be best buddy (hopefully) Evan Pancakes. He looked more nervous than I did, at least._

_"So, have you seen that one episode of Donkey Kong where that one dude all like, '_ Why is your name Donkey Kong, you're not even a Donkey!? _' and Donkey Kong has no idea how to respond?"_

_Evan nodded and smiled. "I love that episode!" And thus our friendship began. That shy toddler that ran away upon our first meeting had become my first real friend, my BFF for life._

_Or so I thought..._

~*~

_Dab and I slowly drifted apart towards the end of our first year of school. He was always the popular, funny kid, and I was always the shy, quiet kid. He was the cool, artsy kid, and I was the nervous, nerdy kid. He made friends_ _with anyone and everyone, and I joined forces with the few other unsociable kids. We still saw each other at the Howlter family parties and such, but we weren't exactly the BFF's our parents had hoped we would be._

_~*~_

_But, old friends never truly left each other._

_Even after the Pancakes moved to Oasis Springs and Evan had to change schools, our families still kept in touch. Eventually, they moved back to Willow Creek, just before high school began, and we were finally reunited as friends._

_But what came next shocked everyone, even us. Nobody saw it coming, but, dang, that was the best year of my life..._

_~*~_

**~Monday 3rd September 2022~*~After School~*~Evan Pancakes~**

"D-Dab?" A boy in the same year as me looked up from his canvas. "Is that really you?"

He looked different from the last time I had seen him. His hair was longer, resting on his shoulders, with a single blue hairlight running through his midnight black hair. He was much taller as well, almost a foot taller than me (we had previously been the same height). However, he had the same goofy smile, the same cheerful glint in his big brown eyes. 

Dab stood up, and began to walk towards me. "Evan? Evan Pancakes?"

"Yup, I am indeed Evan Pancakes," I confirmed.

"No way!" Dab exclaimed. "I haven't seen you since... well, I suppose it would have been Mum's birthday party, but even then I didn't speak to you. What are you doing at Willow High? I had assumed you would be staying at Oasis Academy... Have you moved back to Willow Creek? I did see your mum in the neighbourhood a couple days ago but I just assumed she was talking a walk and spying on Dad like usual and-"

"Dab, calm down," I interrupted. "We moved back to Willow Creek, and I'm going to school here now. Honestly, I'm just as surprised to see you."

Dab snorted. "Why would you be surprised to see me? Obviously I would go to this school, since I've always lived in Willow Creek, and you know how much of an art geek I am, so I usually hang out in the art room anyway."

"I-I, well... I j-just... I d-didn't think I would s-see you around school or anything... C-considering I d-don't really want to g-get involved in anything... Or t-talk to anyone... And there w-would be no reason for you t-to talk to me, s-so..." I stuttered.

He simply laughed, and enveloped me in a warm hug. "Of course I'd talk to you, Ev! You're my ol' buddy, I've been looking for an opportunity to catch up with you for, like, five years now!"

I was clearly taken aback by this comment. I pulled away from the hug, and stared at him in disbelief. "R-really?" Don't get me wrong, I found this an incredibly sweet gesture, but... me? Of all people, he would want to catch up, with me? "I-I mean... We've seen each other at parties and stuff, you could have spoken to me then."

"I suppose I could have," he agreed, rubbing the back of his neck, "but at the same time I kinda wanted to catch up alone, y'know? Without all the crazy antics that always seem to happen when Dad is around."

That actually got a laugh out of me. "Yeah, Dil does kinda... Attract weirdness."

"Anyway, we should meet up sometime," he suggested. "Maybe hang in the park sometime?"

I nodded. "Yeah, we should do that. You free at the weekend?"

"Yup."

"Great." I smiled. "Uh, I need to go now. I just came in to get my bag that I left earlier." I quickly stepped over to the other side of the room and grabbed by bag, which was still underneath my chair.

Dab waved as I left the classroom, before he went back to his painting.

~*~

**~Monday 3rd September 2022~*~Evening~*~Dab Howlter~**

I honestly couldn't believe that Evan had finally moved back to Willow Creek. We used to be such good friends - almost every night after school we would hang out, whether it be at my place or his. And we would stay together until the late hours of the night. It didn't matter, since we literally lived across the road from each other. Sometimes I would stay at his so late I would just sleep over, or vice verse. It came to a point where we would just leave a spare pair of clothes and pyjamas at each others houses, so we didn't have to go home to get our stuff.

It was nice, just me and him, best of friends.

However, when he left, things changed. We were already growing apart. My Dad had just given birth to my younger brother (long story), so I was spending more time at home helping out around the house. Eliza and Bob, Evan's parents, were facing some difficulties in the marriage (I wasn't entirely sure on the circumstances, but I knew something was going on). Eventually, Eliza moved away, and took Evan with her. Bob stayed - my parents were kind of annoyed with this, because we as a family had always been closer to Eliza, but we stayed quiet. It wasn't our business to get involved in.

When I got home that evening, my brother Dalien was waiting at the table to tell me the news.

"Eliza and Bob have gotten back together!" he exclaimed as soon as I came through the front door. He stood up and rushed towards me. "Evan has moved back! We can all hang out again now!"

I smiled and nodded. "I know, Dale, I know. I saw Evan earlier. But... I didn't know the Pancakes were back together. That is great news."

"Yup!" Dale grinned at me. "Dad said he might through a reunion party soon."

"Where is Dad, by the way?" I inquired.

"He's still at work. He told me to come home early because they were doing some experiments, and y'know... they've recently been delving further and further into alien life. He didn't want me to feel uncomfortable, and he _definitely_ didn't want the others to try anything out of me," he explained.

That would make sense. Dalien didn't go to school, so he would usually join Dad at work. Of course, this was sometimes problematic, because Dad worked at some super secret government science place, and Dalien was an alien. That explained why his skin had a blue tint, and why his high-pitched voice would echo wherever he was. Nobody cared that he was an alien - he was just as loved in the family as I was.

"Anyway, Mum is making dinner," Dale informed me. 

I smiled, and joined him at the table.


	2. Old Times

_"Mum?" I sat down next to Mum. She was crying. I didn't know why. "Mum? Are you alright?"_

_She nodded. "Y-yeah, I'm fine." I knew she was lying. I wasn't stupid. "C'mon, let's go to the park. I can teach you how to play chess or something." She wiped away her tears._

_"What about Dad?" I asked._

_Mum hesitated. "He's busy. We'll go without him." She stood up, and we walked together out the house and down to the park._

~*~

_I spotted Evan and Eliza playing chess over by the fountain. I was with Dalien, on my way to the museum. We had decided to bypass the park, because it was nicer than just following the road. I would've gone over to talk to the Pancakes, but Eliza seemed distracted. I didn't want to get involved in whatever was going on._

_Dale tugged at my arm; I hadn't even noticed that I was staring that them. I sighed, and continued to follow my younger brother down the pathway._

~*~

**~Saturday 8th September 2022~*~Noon~*~Evan Pancakes~**

"Are you kidding me?" Dab exclaimed. "That's the fifth time in a row that you've beaten me!"

"We've only played five times," I responded.

"Exactly!"

I smirked. "Is this the first time you've played chess or something?" I inquired, as I began to reset the pieces for another game.

Dab shook his head. "Nah. I've played before. But... you're so good! You're freaking brilliant!"

"Trust me, I'm not that great," I said modestly. "You just need to change your strategy. You're quite predictable now, actually."

"Hey!" He looked offended. "Sure, I'm not _good_ , but I can't be that bad!"

I rolled my eyes. "If you want to win, you can't come charging straight at my pieces. That'll just make it easier for me to take them. You have to get into a position where I can't take your piece straight away, and you have an easy pathway to get to mine."

Dab pulled out a notebook and pen and started taking notes, which just made me laugh like crazy. "Shut up," he grumbled, as he hastily copied down everything I had said. Once he had finished, he looked up at me, and asked, "One more game?"

"You bet."

**~Saturday 8th September 2022~*~Noon~*~Dab Howlter~**

Evan had come round to my house at ten that morning, and together we had walked down to the park, taking the same route me and Dale all those years ago, the last time that we had seen Eliza before she moved. Evan had decided to play a couple games of chess, and I could see why. He was amazing, seriously. The only person I knew who maybe rivalled him was his mother - that would make sense, considering she was the person who taught him.

He had already beaten me five times before he finally gave me some advice. And with that advice... I lost again. No surprise there. But I _had_ come slightly closer to winning. By that, I mean I actually managed to kill his horse dude, and a couple of the short ones. What, you expect me to know the names?

After we had finished our game, we decided to go down to the lake to have some lunch. Summer Holiday offered us both a hotdog - she was having a barbeque with a couple of her friends by the lake. We happily obliged, and sat down by the lake as we ate.

"So, how was Oasis Springs?" I finally asked. I had been waiting for the right moment to ask him about his previous home since we bumped into each other on Monday, and right now seemed like the perfect time.

"It was alright," he replied. "A lot warmer that Willow Creek. To be perfectly honest, it was a little too hot for me. I spent most of my time indoors, away from the soaring heat." He looked out to the lake. "I prefer Willow Creek. It's nice here. No sand, no stupid cacti. Just grass and... willow trees, I guess. There are a lot of different trees. But saying willow trees would make sense, 'cause it's Willow Creek, y'know?" He took a deep breath. "I'll shut up now. I feel like I just went on an unnecessary tangent."

I giggled. "Don't worry."

"Did I miss anything whilst I was gone?"

I shrugged. "Not much. You remember Dalien, right?" He nodded. "Well, we considered contacting his Mum, but we were warned that the aliens might try to take him away. Now he just lives with us, doesn't go to school in case people find out he's an alien. Not that that matters anymore, since pretty much everyone knows, but whatever. Dad usually just takes him to work."

Evan smiled. "Can I see him again sometime? I haven't talked to him in ages."

"'Cause you can," I promised. "Actually, I think Dad is throwing a little get together tomorrow, kinda like a reunion. You can catch up with him then."

"Aw yeah, a Howlter family party!" he screamed excitedly. "Those are actually the best! I haven't been to one in ages."

By this point, we had both finished our hotdogs. I checked the time on my watch: 13:17. "Do you have a specific time you need to be home?" He told me he didn't. "Want to go bowling or something? Or old times sake?"

Evan smiled. "I'd love that."

**~Saturday 8th September 2022~*~Afternoon~*~Dalien Howlter~**

Dab rushed into the house, and jumped onto the sofa next to me. Another kid who I didn't recognise followed him in.

"Hey, Dale, me and Ev were planning on going on bowling if you wanted to join us," my brother invited.

I hesitated. I had never been one to go out and hang out with people, because, y'know, I'm not really... normal. I'm not _human_ , like everyone else in this town. But, this was Dab. You didn't just refuse a bowling trip if it was Dab who invited you. Everyone in town knew that he was the king of bowling. And, as his brother, I felt even more obliged to accept his invite. "Sure, I'll come."

Our small group of three left the house, and began walking down to the bowling ally. It was only a ten minute walk away, so it didn't take long. I didn't bother to use my human disguise, since I didn't care if people found out what I really was.

As we walked, I tried to figure out who Dab's friend was. He was around the same age as Dab, with short black hair, and a face that was kind of a mix between Eliza and Bob... _Oh my God, it's Evan Pancakes_. I knew that Evan was a kid who existed, but I hadn't seen him since he moved away. At the time, I was incredibly young, so I didn't remember much anyway.

I did a little jog until I was walking besides Evan. "So, how was Oasis Springs?"

Evan laughed. "Dab literally just asked me that around an hour ago. It was alright. Not as good as Willow Creek. I'm glad we moved back."

We soon reached the bowling ally, and booked in to play a couple of games. I went first, with the help of Dab. I was the youngest there, so it was only fair that my older brother helped me, right? I managed to knock over a few pins - to be honest, I was surprised that I had managed to hit _one_ , since I'm terrible at bowling. Evan went, and managed to get a spare. And of course Dab went straight in and got a strike. Nobody was surprised, especially the small crowd of people that had gathered to watch the game.

The game unfolded just as I had expected. I fell far, _far_ behind, and Evan was just a few points behind Dab, who had almost got a strike every turn. A couple of times he missed one or two pins, but that didn't matter too much. Dab was still the best bowler in all of Willow Creek.

However, as I observed the other two, I began to notice something that I _wasn't_ expecting. The way Dab watched Evan bowl with an excited glint in his eyes. The way Evan smiled at Dab when he got yet another strike. They may not know it yet, but...

There was way more than just friendship in their future.


	3. Old Memories

_I watched from the window as Evan and Eliza dragged their suitcases out of the house, and threw them in the back of the taxi. They were leaving, going to live somewhere new, but Bob wasn't with them. I wondered why._

_I was half-tempted to go out and ask, but Mum wouldn't let me. She told me that they were going through something, and that I shouldn't interfere. She didn't want me to make it worse._

_I watched as the taxi drove away, taking my friend, my_ best _friend away from me._

~*~

**~Saturday 8th September 2022~*~Night~*~Dab Howlter~**

Dalien jumped onto my bed, scaring the crap out of me. "What the hell, Dale?!" I exclaimed, almost falling of the side of the bed. He just laughed. I hadn't even noticed him come into my room - it was as if he just materialised out of thin air.

"Sorry," Dale apologised, "I didn't mean to scare you."

"I didn't even see you come in!"

He giggled. "I am really sorry. Dad wanted to try out the new teleport function on his freeze-ray, and I offered to be his test subject." That didn't surprise me, since Dad pretty much always ended up testing things out on Dale. My brother didn't mind - he enjoyed it, actually. "I wanted to talk to you anyway."

I tilted my head. "What about?"

"Evan Pancakes," he replied. "Do you like him?"

I nodded. "Yeah, obviously, he's, like, my best friend."

Dale shook his head. "No, I mean, do you _like_ like him? Like, in the future, would you-"

"No no no!" I shouted, cutting him off. "We are _just_ friends, I swear!"

Dale sighed. "Fair enough. I thought you would say that..."

"Why would you even ask me that?"

"Just... well... the way you were looking at him earlier, and the way he was looking at you, and-" He trailed off. "You know what? Nevermind. It was a stupid question. I'll leave now."

He stood up, and left the room, as I laid back down on my bed. Why would he ask me if I would ever go out with Ev? First off, I wasn't gay. At least, I didn't think I was. I had never been out with a boy before (or a girl, for that matter, but whatever). Secondly, Ev was my friend. We had always been friends. It would be weird.

Although, I had to admit he was pretty good looking. I don't think anyone could disagree with that, right?

~*~

**~Sunday 9th September 2022~*~Afternoon~*~Evan Pancakes~**

Mum straightened my bowtie, as I stood awkwardly in front of the mirror. She moved away, leaving me to stare at myself in that dreadful suit. The sleeves on the purple jacket were covering my hands, and my trousers seemed to be dragging along the floor.

"I look stupid," I stated.

After a moment of consideration, Mum nodded, and said, "You're right, go get changed into some casual clothing or something."

I sighed, and returned to my room. I had no clue why Mum had even tried to get me into a suit. We were only going round to the Howlters for a small get together, not to a freaking wedding! And I always look terrible in suits, everybody knew that. I felt way more comfortable and confident (if it was even possible for me to be confident) in a simple t-shirt and jeans. Which is what I ended up wearing to the party, after changing many different times. Just a nice black t-shirts with a red heart, and I pair of black jeans.

Fast forward twenty minutes, and I was sitting on the sofa at the Howlters, watching the Culinary Cooking show on their penguin TV. Dil was behind the bar, making cocktails as usual. Tabatha was in the kitchen making us all fish tacos. Dalien was playing with some sort of miniature space ship. And Dab was nowhere to be found.

I sat there for another ten minutes before Dab finally showed his face. He had his hair tied up in a ponytail, and his single blue highlight had been replaced with several green highlights. I assumed he had just been out to get them done, which must have been why he was so late. He was wearing an open green and blue checkered shirt over a plain white t-shirt, along with a pair of ripped jeans and black sneakers. And, damn, he looked good.

"Hey, Dab," I greeted.

He joined me on the couch. "Yo, Ev. You actually got here before me. And we're at my own house. And the party hasn't even began."

I laughed. "Yeah... I don't know how I even got here so quickly, considering I changed by outfit at least five times." I found myself staring at his new hairstyle. "I like your hairstyle, it suits you," I complimented.

Dab smiled. "Thank you. I'll probably end up changing it again by next Sunday, but for now I can live with it. I changed my mind about hairstyles way to much."

"Remember when we first met, and your hair was just like-" I motioned something like an explosion near my head to symbolise his toddler hair.

He laughed, and nodded. "Yeah. My grandparents liked it, so I kept it for a while. To be fair, I was too young to change it myself, so I didn't have much of a choice."

We reminisced about our childhood until the party guests began to arrive. Summer came round with her teenage daughter, Winter. Mum and Dad finally joined me. Much to my surprise, Erica showed up - I had been told that Dil didn't like Erica too much, so seeing her shocked me. Dalien stopped playing with his ship and joined the rest of us in the living room. A couple more people who I didn't recognise arrived shortly after.

Dil turned on the music, and the party finally begun.

~*~

**~Sunday 9th September 2022~*~Evening~*~Dab Howlter~**

"Fish taco, anyone?" Mum offered. Of course she cooked fish tacos. I swear my family are _obsessed_ with them. I had had enough of them. However, I was hungry, so I took a taco and began to eat.

Winter was already up on the dance floor. Her light blonde ponytail ran all the way down her back, almost to her knees. I could tell she was Summer's daughter - they had the same face, the same colour hair, the same beautiful, piecing blue eyes. Her icy blue, knee length dress bounced up and down as she danced.

Evan had sunken deeper into his chair. I could tell he was feeling uncomfortable. I didn't blame him. From what I could tell, he didn't actually know most of the guests here. All of his friends lived over in Oasis Springs, so he was pretty much alone, apart from me and Winter.

After I finished my fish taco, and stood up from the sofa, and basically begged Ev to join me and Winter on the dance floor. It took a bit of persuading, but my friend finally agreed and we danced the night away. Evan seemed to get along with Winter, thank God. The three of us - and eventually four, when Dale joined the group - had a great time.

An hour or so into the party, Dad turned the music down, and everyone grabbed a glass. We did a toast to Eliza and Bob, due to the fact they were back together, and officially welcomed Eliza and Evan back into the neighbourhood.

The party wrapped up soon after that, and most people went home. I offered for Winter to stay a little longer with Evan and I, but she had to go home with Summer - instead, she promised that she would sit with us at lunch tomorrow. Soon enough, it was just the Howlters and the Pancakes.

"Successful party?" Evan questioned.

I nodded. "Yup. And no alien abductions, either."

Evan laughed at that. "Thank God. Remember what happened last time Dil was abducted?"

"Hey!" Dale shouted from the other room. "I'm the best thing that's happened to this family!"

We all laughed, even the adults. Yes, this was a successful party, and I knew for certain things could only get better.


	4. Old Love

Dear Dab,

First off, how are you doing? Oasis Springs is cool, I suppose. Although, I wish I was back in Willow Creek. I miss you.

_My pen hovered over the paper for a few seconds, before I placed it down, picked up the letter, and tore it in two. This was a stupid idea. Why did Mum think writing a letter would be a good idea? I could just call him, and it would be so much easier!_

_My finger hovered over the last digit of Dab's phone number. I couldn't do it. I hadn't even talked to Dab properly since our second year of school. Why would he want to hear from me? I turned off my phone, chucked it onto my bed, and joined my Mum downstairs._

_Dab doesn't care about my life anymore._

~*~

**~Monday 10th September 2022~*~Third Period~*~Evan Pancakes~**

I stared at a blank piece of paper, wondering what to write. This _never_ happened to me. I had always been the smart kid in school, the kid who always knew the answers. But now I couldn't think straight. All I could think of was Dab, and the fact that I was about to have lunch with him. And Winter, of course, but that was besides the point. I hadn't hung out with Dab at school since our first year. The first week back, I had just sat alone at lunch, which I didn't particularly mind but it was always nice to have a friend to rely on.

Ten minutes left of my history lesson, and I hadn't wrote down a single word. I was supposed to write at least two paragraphs. I took a deep breath, and quickly wrote down some stuff. Most of it made no sense, and the parts that did make sense were just copied from the textbook, but at least it was something.

The bell rang, and everyone left the classroom. The history teacher just watched as we all went away, not even bothering to give us a farewell. I went straight to Dab's art classroom, where he had had his previous lesson. He was waiting outside for me, with Winter Holiday.

Together, we walked down to the cafeteria.

~*~

**~Monday 10th September 2022~*~Third Period~*~Dab Howlter~**

I stared at a blank canvas, waiting for inspiration. This _never_ happened to me. I had always been the artsy kid, the guy who would just put brush to canvas and paint a masterpiece. Most of the time, I didn't even think about what I was trying to create. I would just let my emotions flow, forget the world and just _paint_. But now, all I could think about was Evan. _Evan... That's it._ I grabbed my sketchbook and pencil, opened to a blank page, and begun to sketch out a portrait. This wasn't something I would usually paint - I preferred to do landscapes - but at the time, it just felt right.

As I added the finishing touches to my first sketch, the bell rang, and the class was dismissed. The teacher seemed confused that I had finished the class with a blank canvas, so I quickly explained I had spent the lesson sketching out my idea and I would paint next time. She nodded, and let me go.

Winter was already waiting outside, and it didn't take long for Evan to show up. We walked down to the cafeteria.

~*~

**~Monday 10th September 2022~*~Noon~*~Winter Holiday~**

I laughed at Dab's terrible pun. We had all finished eating five minutes ago, but we still twenty minutes left of lunch, so the two boys had already started joking around to kill time. Even after all those years of being apart, Dab and Evan still had that incredible friendship they had in our first year. I envied them on that - never in my life had I had a friendship so great and pure. I wanted desperately to be a part of it.

But... I knew that I could never tear them apart. They were too close. Even if I _did_ join their group (which I basically had already, after the party last night), I would just feel like a third wheel. Of a friendship. As far as I knew, they weren't dating.

That just made me think even further. What if I dated one of them? I would be lying if I said I hadn't had a _tiny_ crush on Evan before he moved, all the way back in our third year. Since then my romantic feelings for him had mostly disappeared, but they were still there, in the back of my mind. As I spent more and more time talking to him, those feelings were beginning to regenerate, to blossom into a new flower, much stronger and bolder and colourful than the first.

I found myself staring at him. Looking into his deep brown eyes. I noticed that _he_ was staring at Dab. Did he love Dab instead? No, that couldn't be. They were friends. Just friends.

I decided that I would ask him out on a date.

~*~

**~Tuesday 11th September 2022~*~Before School~*~Evan Pancakes~**

Winter Holiday approached Dab and I, an hour before school began. We were hanging outside the gates, just chatting about random crap like we would when we were kids. I smiled as she joined us, welcoming her, but my smiles soon faded after she said she wanted to talk to me alone. What could she possibly want? I looked to Dab for reassurance, and saw him motioning for me to go talk to her.

"Ok?" She gently tugged at my arm, and lead me around the corner. "S-so?" She planted a kiss on my cheek. My face immediately blushed a bright shade of red. "W-what? W-why did you- what?"

Winter smiled. "Would you like to go on a date with me?"

I hesitated. I didn't know what to say. I hadn't really thought about dating her before... Or anyone, to be perfectly honest. Romance had never been that big of an issue for me. I never really cared about it. But Winter...

She _was_ pretty, no denying that. In fact, she was bloody _beautiful_. But did I love her?

"Winter, I..." I took a deep breath. "We only _just_ met a couple of days ago."

She shook her head. "Nope! We met when we were kids, remember? Before you moved?"

I set my mind back to my first year of school. I _did_ recall a girl who looked kind of similar to Winter (younger, of course). "I-I guess we did. But... I still don't know."

"Oh, come _on_!" she encourage. "What have you got to loose?"

She had a point. We were still young, so there was plenty of time to find _true_ love. Now was a time to experiment, to try things out, to discover what love meant to us. And Winter wasn't that bad. If I went on a date with her, and decided she wasn't the right person for me, we could still be friends, right? It wasn't as if there was anyone else who I had my eyes on...

"Fine," I decided. "Why not? I'll go out with you, I suppose."

"Yay!" She enclosed me in a hug, then informed me she would text me the details for the date tonight.

I returned to Dab, a huge smile plastered across my face.

~*~

**~Tuesday 11th September 2022~*~Before School~*~Dab Howlter~**

"You seem happy," I stated, when Evan returned from his chat with Winter. "What did Winter _say_ to you?"

"She asked me on a date," he answered. "And I said yes."

I froze, unsure of how to respond. Winter, Evan... dating? I would never have thought that Evan would... Since when did he have feelings for Winter? Sure, I knew Winter had had a crush on Evan when we were kids, but... I thought she was over that now. I thought to her Evan was just a wild fantasy, a dream that she would surely wake up from. Yet, she had still worked up the courage to ask, and Evan had said yes.

I was almost... jealous.

_No, stop thinking that way,_ I told myself. _You and Evan are just friends._ Best _friends. You should be happy for him._

I gave him a smile. "That's great. Congratulations." I think we could both tell that my smile was fake.


	5. Old Places

_It was very rare that Mum and I would visit Willow Creek after we moved to Oasis Springs, but whenever we did, we would always go for dinner at Chez Llama. It was literally the only restaurant in the area, so it made sense that everybody had been there several times. Even though it was incredibly fancy and overpriced, nobody cared, because it was just a nice place to go to once in a while._

_It had been a couple of years since the move, and there I was, sitting in Chez Llama, eating my food, when I spotted the Howlter family across the room. Dab was busy doodling on a napkin, so he didn't notice me (thank God), but Dalien seemed restless. He was jumping up and down in his chair, and looking around the restaurant. It occurred to me that this might have been his first time in Chez Llama, so he would've been curious as to what secrets it held._

_Dalien locked eyes with me, gave me an excited grin, and tried to get Dab's attention. I averted my eyes to my plate of food. I didn't feel like talking to Dab. I hoped that he would just ignore me if he thought I was busy._

_"Hey, Dab is over there, if you wanted to go talk to him," Mum suggested._

_I shook my head. "No, he'll be busy with his family. Besides, it's almost time to leave, right? Our taxi is arriving soon."_

_Mum shrugged. "Fair enough. I just thought it would be nice."_

~*~

 _I tried to wave at Evan from our table. He ignored me. Why was he ignoring me? I hadn't talked to him in_ ages _, I was desperate to speak with him. He hadn't been picking up my calls, or responding to my texts, or even hanging with me at parties. It was as if he... didn't like me anymore._

_I wanted to know why._

~*~

**~Tuesday 11th September 2022~*~Night~*~Winter Holiday~**

_I am able to book a table at Chez Llama tomorrow after school. 5pm._ I sent the text, and waited patiently for a reply. It didn't take long for Evan to inform me that he could make it, and soon enough I had booked the table at the restaurant. The fanciest restaurant I knew. And the only restaurant, but that was besides the point. I still couldn't believe that Evan and I were finally going on a date, after all those years of longing to be with him. I just hoped that it would last, and that he actually had feelings for me. I had been in so many relationships were the other person didn't really love me, he just couldn't say no when I asked him out. I had a feeling it was the same case with Evan, but... I could hope, right?

I turned off my phone, and laid down on my bed. Tomorrow would be amazing, I was sure of it. Evan and I would have a fantastic time, romance would blossom forth, and we would spend the rest of our lives together. Or maybe not. Who knew what would happen in the future? Either Evan falls hopelessly in love with me, or he decides I'm not the girl for him. I hoped for the former. That _was_ my dream. A dream I never wanted to wake up from.

**~Wednesday 12th September 2022~*~After School~*~Dab Howlter~**

"Yo, Ev!" I shouted, as my friend rushed out of the school gates. "Dude, why are you running away from me?"

Evan sighed, and turned to face me. "Sorry, I was kinda in a rush. What do you want?"

"I was just wondering if you wanted to hang at my place, or yours, whatever. But... I guess you're busy tonight?"

"Yeah..." He rubbed the back of his neck. "You know Winter asked me out yesterday? Well, she's taking me out tonight. Dinner at Chez Llama. I kinda have to get home quickly, to get ready and stuff."

I was slightly taken aback by this, although I knew I shouldn't have been. He couldn't hang out with me because he was going on a date. Fair enough. Still, I couldn't help but feel... Jealous. He was going to hang out with Winter Holiday, a girl who he had only just met a couple of days ago, instead of his best friend. A girl who was in love with him. And who he loved back. What had gotten into me? Why was I feeling so jealous? I was his best friend! I should been happy for him!

"That's... That's fine," I replied. "Great, actually. You got yourself a girl. Congrats. Have fun." I smiled, and walked away.

I decided to take a different route home than usual. I didn't want Evan to walk with me, anyway. He would probably just spend the entire time talking about Winter.

When I got home, I found Mum, Dad and Dale all sitting around the table, in complete silence, as if they were waiting specifically for me. "What is this?" I asked, as I joined them. "Why are you all staring at me?"

Dale jumped up in his seat, and excitedly screamed, "We're going to Chez Llama for dinner!"

We were going to Chez Llama. Perfect. Evan and Winter were going there as well. I would be able to see them on their date. I would know exactly what they did. This would be amazing. I thanked my parents, and went to my room to get changed. An hour later, we were sitting in a booth at Chez Llama, and I was staring at the door, waiting for the two lovebirds to come in.

I knew that it was wrong of me to spy on their date, but... I just couldn't help it. I needed to know if Evan actually loved Winter. And I _had_ to know exactly what was going to happen on their first date.

**~Wednesday 12th September 2022~*~Evening~*~Evan Pancakes~**

"So, do I look good?" I asked Mum. I was about to head on over to Chez Llama, to met Winter there at five, but I wanted to make sure I looked perfect. I was wearing a blue waistcoat over a pure white, long-sleeved shirt, as well as black trousers and black loafers. To be perfectly honest, I hate it, but we were going to Chez Llama. I had to look fancy, and this was the fanciest outfit I owned.

"You look amazing, honey," Mum complimented. "Now, go get her!" I smiled, and left the house. "Good luck!" she shouted, as I began to walk down the street.

Winter Holiday met me outside the front door of Chez Llama. I was struck with awe as I saw her long, straight, icy blue dress, and her platinum blonde plait running down her shoulder. We linked arms with each other, and entered the building. Once we were seated, and we had ordered our food, I spotted the very person who I _didn't_ want to be here. Dab Howlter. Oh God. What the hell was he doing here?! Not that I had a problem with him eating at this restaurant. It was clear he had come with his family, probably not by his own choice. Dalien was jumping up and down excitedly - maybe it had been his idea to come, or Dil and Tabitha had decided to treat their children. Yeah. However, I didn't want Dab to be there whilst I was on a date. He was my best friend, and I wanted to stay close to him forever, but that didn't mean I didn't have a life of my own. This was something for just me and Winter. It was our own private time.

Thankfully, neither Dab nor Winter caught me staring at the Howlter's table. Whilst we were waiting for our food to arrive, Winter and I talked about nothing in particular. Just small talk. How things were going with school, the recent weather, stuff like that. Eventually the conversation moved onto tv shows and books. Although, there was nothing... romantic. Perhaps she was in love with me, but I wasn't with her. I liked her as a friend, I suppose, but beyond that... I don't know. Nothing really did it for me. She was cool, but I didn't want to be with her.

After we had eaten, I walked her home. We stopped outside her door, and she gave me a small kiss on the lips. It wasn't... spectacular, or anything. It was just a kiss. Nothing more.


	6. Old Emotion

_My brush spread the colours around the canvas, creating swirls of red and blue and purple and pink and everything in between. I didn't think about what I was creating, I just let my emotions flow. It was calming, relaxing. I was lost in my own little world. Nothing could bring me back to reality. A masterpiece was unfolding in front of my very eyes, and I was loving every moment._

_My brush left the canvas, and I stared at the finished piece, happy with how it came out. Everything was bursting with colour, and all my emotions seemed to be conveyed. It wasn't exactly a painting of something in particular, just a mix of different colours and shapes, but it made me feel happy inside nonetheless._

_I turned around, coming face-to-face with Winter Holiday. She, too, was staring at my artwork._

_"How long have you been here?" I asked her, slightly confused as to what she was doing in the art room._

_"O-oh, I just came in a few minutes ago," she replied. "I wanted to ask you something, but didn't want to disturb you. You didn't seem to notice me in the room, so..."_

_I laughed. "Don't worry. I usually space out when I'm painting. What did you want to ask?"_

_"Um, you're friends with Evan, right?"_

~*~

_Winter waved at me from the fountain in the park, motioning for me to come sit next to her. At the time, I was playing chess with Mum, as I usually would on a Sunday afternoon. I quickly glanced at Mum, who just smiled and tilted her head towards Winter. I stood up, and went to sit down on the edge of the fountain._

_"Hey Evan," she greeted._

_"Hi," I replied, kind of confused as to why she was talking to me._

_"I was just, um, I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out, sometime? At the library or museum or something? Just me and you? Like, together? Today?" she invited._

_I was about to reply, when Mum called me over, saying it was time to leave. "Sorry," I apologised. "Not... Not today. Maybe in the future, but right now... We are going through a lot, as a family, and... I mean, I don't even know you that well. But I'll see you around, ok?"_

_I could tell she was disappointed, but she just smiled and nodded. "See you around."_

~*~

**~Thursday 13th September 2022~*~Before School~*~Dab Howlter~**

"Why the hell were you at Chez Llama last night?" Evan burst into the room, scaring the crap out of me. I had arrived at school early to do some painting in the art room, which really wasn't unusual for me but I had mostly stopped doing it after Evan joined the school. "So? Why were you?"

He knew that I was at Chez Llama. Damn. Did he also know that I had been spying on the two of them? If he knew that I was at Chez Llama, he must have caught me staring at them...

"I-I'm sorry, I honestly didn't know that we were going until I got home," I stated. "Mum and Dad thought it would be a nice surprise, y'know? If I had known we were going, I swear I would have told you."

Evan sighed. "It's alright. I don't mind that you were there. I just... I felt like you were kinda invading my privacy a little when I saw you, but I guess it was a public place, so I can't really say anything."

There was an awkward silence, before I asked, "So, how did the date go?"

Evan hesitated, making me believe that perhaps it didn't go as well as planned. "It was... alright, I guess. I don't really... well... I don't think I'm in love with her. I mean, she's cool and all, but... I can't really see myself with her."

He didn't love her. They weren't going to be a couple. Fantastic. Our friendship wouldn't be ruined. Winter was nice and all, but... Evan and I had a strong bond, much stronger than whatever his relationship with Winter was. I knew that we would spend the rest of our life together, as the best friends the world as ever seen. Girls could never come between us, ever. That probably sounded selfish, but... I wanted Ev to be mine. I wanted our friendship to last as long as time itself.

"That's perfectly fine," I told him. "Don't feel pressured to be in a relationship with her."

He nodded. "Ok. I should... I should probably tell her that we'll never work out. I'll, um... I'll tell her later."

**~Thursday 13th September 2022~*~** **Noon** **~*~Winter Holiday~**

"Babe!" I enclosed Evan in a huge hug, happy to be so close to him. Could I call him my boyfriend yet? We had been on a date, and we did kiss the night before... A kiss that had made my heart flutter, and had deprived me of my sleep as I laid awake wishing that the moment could have lasted longer. Surely we were going out, right? I loved him, and... I think he loved me. I _hoped_ he loved me. I planted a small kiss on his cheek.

"Hi, Winter," Ev finally greeted, once we had separated from each other. "Um, about last night-"

"Oh, it was just _magical_ , wasn't it?" I interrupted. "It was probably the best date I've been on. Which, to be honest, isn't really saying much, considering I've hardly ever _been_ on a date, but it was still the _best night of my life_. And our kiss at the end... Ah, it was _amazing_! We need to do it again! Somewhere else, of course, but... I really enjoyed last night."

I knew I was babbling, and I knew I wasn't letting him speak, but I didn't care about that. I wanted him too know _just how much_ I loved him. All these thoughts, all these emotions that I had been bottling up for years had been freed. When Evan had moved away to Oasis Springs, I was certain that I would never have a chance to be with him. However, I had been proven wrong. We were together, and it was wonderful!

However, I was a little scared. Afraid that he would return my feelings. I loved him with all of my heart, but I was wondering he if loved me with all of his. It had been that way for pretty much all the boys I had dated in the past. I wasn't sure if I could deal with _yet another_ heartbreak. Perhaps that's why I wasn't letting him speak. I knew exactly what he would say. He was tell me that he wasn't interested, and that I should just get out of his life and move on. And the thought _terrified_ me.

"A-actually-"

The bell rang. "Damn, that's the end of lunch... I'll meet you after school, ok? I love you." I sent him an air kiss, then ran off into the school building.

**~Thursday 13th September 2022~*~Fourth Period~*~Evan Pancakes~**

I sighed in frustration after Winter left. She hadn't even given me the chance to tell her anything. She just went on and on about how utterly wonderful our first date was. _A date which I hadn't even enjoyed that much._

Dab put his hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry, dude, you'll get your chance to tell her how you really feel."

"But-" I groaned. "She seemed so happy about... about us. I... I don't want to upset her. I don't want to break her heart."

We began to walk to our next class, side-by-side.

"Listen, you can still be... friends with her," Dab said, attempting to comfort me. "You just have to tell her that you don't have any _romantic_ feelings for her, but you still think she's a pretty cool person and would love to be her friend."

I nodded. "Yeah. I never said that I didn't want to be her friend." I took a deep breath. "Thank you. For the advice."

Dab smiled. "No problem, dude."


	7. Old Heartbreak

_A torn-up letter. A forgotten promise. A broken heart._

_My first break-up was tough. As was the second. And the third. And every single one after that._

_It was the same every time. I would write letters proclaiming my undying love - write them, but never send them. Eventually, we would talk, and he would promise that he loved me with all of his heart, and by doing so fixing mine. Then I would tear up the letters which I never sent, because he forgot his promise, and broke my heart._

_I couldn't deal with it anymore. So I stopped dating altogether._

_Until Evan came back._

_And the cycle continued._

~*~

**~Wednesday 10th October 2022~*~Night~*~Evan Pancakes~**

Winter and I were still dating almost a month later. Whenever I attempted to break up with her, she would do something that made me feel guilty about the whole ideal, and I would put it off. Now, I was sitting on Dab's bed, close to tears.

"Listen, buddy, just do it." He rubbed my back in attempt to comfort me. "I know you don't want to hurt her, but... It's almost been a month now."

"Exactly!" I exclaimed. "The longer I put it off, the guiltier I feel! I can't just... I can't just tell her that I don't love her, because we've already been dating for far to long. And... And she keeps telling me that she's happy to have a boyfriend who actually loves her for a change, because all of her previous ones didn't, and..."

"Calm down, Ev." I looked up at Dab. "It's better to tell her now than to leave it even longer. I can help you, if you want. And if it goes wrong, just know that I'm here for you."

I took a deep breath, and nodded. He was completely right. If I put it off even longer, and told her months from now, she would just be even more upset, because it would seem like I had been pretending the whole time. I mean, she would be right in thinking that - I had been pretending, because I didn't want to hurt her.

"Let's call her now."

"Wh-what?" Dab stared at me, confused. "Like, right now? At this moment."

"Yeah," I confirmed. "I'll... I'll call her, and tell her now. We haven't talked today, so maybe she won't take it so bad? And it'll be over phone, so there is less of a chance of her killing me."

Dab chuckled. "That is true."

I took my phone out of my pocket, and dialled her number.

**~Wednesday 10th October 2022~*~Night~*~Winter Holiday~**

Evan Pancakes was calling me. My Evan! We hadn't talked all day, so I was obviously excited. Oh, I wonder what he wanted? Maybe we would be going on another date? That would be fun, and he hadn't actually asked me on a date before (I was always the one to ask him) so it would be a nice change. Or maybe he just wanted to talk, wanted to tell me that he loves me. I definitely wanted to tell him.

"Evan's calling," I told my Mum. "I'll be back in a bit."

I left the living room and headed to my bedroom, picking up the call from my beloved boyfriend.

"Hey Babe!" I greeted enthusiastically.

"H-hi," he replied quietly.

I frowned. "Are you ok?"

"Mostly. I think. I just..." He took a deep breath. "We need to talk."

"Ok," I said. "Just know that, whatever you're going to say, I love you, and I'll support you."

"Y-yeah, about that... I, um, I think you're great, I really do, but... I don't..." Oh god. I knew exactly where this was going. I had experienced this way to many times. He was going to break up with me, I could just feel it. He would say that he didn't have any romantic feelings for me, but would still like to be friends. But then we never would be friends, because I would react badly, and he would want nothing to do with me, and we would never see each other again. Why was he doing it over the phone?! Did he _want_ to destroy my heart?

"I don't love you." I bit my lip, trying to hold back the tears. "I-I mean, r-romantically. I still love you, but... as a friend. I don't think I... I don't think I want to date you, but I still want to be friends with you. I'm... I'm sorry."

There was silence for around a minute. I didn't quite now how to respond. Every other time, I would shout at my ex-lover, and everything would crash and burn. I didn't want that to happen again. Even if he didn't love me, I still had to be his friend. Since I had started to hang with Dab and Evan, I suppose I had been neglecting my friends, and I didn't think they would accept me back into the group. Dab and Ev were my only friends. If I stopped hanging with Evan, I would have no choice but to stop hanging with Dab as well, and I would be alone.

However, I was still angry at Evan. Angry that he broke up over the phone. Angry that he let it go on for a _month_. Angry that he didn't return my feelings. But I didn't want to be alone.

"Fine," I snapped, a little too harshly. "We can still be friends, I suppose. Bye." I ended the call, and fell back onto my bed, letting the tears flow out. I didn't care anymore. Nobody had to know how I was truly feeling. The only other person in the house was Mum, and she wouldn't walk in on me.

It wasn't as if I was surprised. I knew it was coming.

**~Wednesday 10th October~*~Night~*~Dab Howlter~**

Evan stared at his phone screen. "She hung up," he stated. He looked up at me. "You don't think I was too harsh."

I shook my head. "You did fine. She's probably just... surprised. I promise you, things will turn out ok."

He closed his eyes and took a few breaths. "Yeah. Things will be fine. She probably doesn't doesn't completely hate me. And now I don't feel so guilty about being with her." He paused. "Um, can I sleep over here tonight? I don't particularly feel like going home right now, and it's already pretty dark out..."

"Dude, you don't even have to ask," I responded. "You should know by now that you can sleep over whenever you want. Just like before the move."

He smiled, and pulled me into a hug. "Thank you."

To be honest, the hug kind of startled me, but after a moment or two I started to enjoy it. Evan was close to tears, which wasn't really a surprise after what he just went through. I personally didn't know how to react to the whole thing - I knew I should have been sad because Evan was sad, but at the same time I thought I should be happy that he got out of the relationship. I couldn't bare to see him upset, though. I hugged back.

Before I knew it, Evan was fast asleep, still entangled in my arms. I smiled fondly at him. He looked so peaceful when he slept. I didn't want to let go. However, I knew this was a terrible position to sleep in, so I had to move. Carefully, I leant back into my bed, bringing Evan along with me. He didn't wake up - thank God.

Evan cuddled up to me as I reached over to turn off the lights. I liked it. It had been years since we had had a sleepover. I realised that I had missed this. Missed having Evan close to me. Missed our late night talks. Missed our shared dreams.

I slowly drifted off to sleep.


	8. Old Tradition

_Tabitha turned off the lights as I nuzzled closer to Dab. We would pretty much always share a bed whenever we would have sleep overs. Since we were only children, no one ever questioned it. To be fair, the only other option was for one of us to sleep on the floor, which neither of us particularly wanted to do. Even so, if there was another place to sleep, we would still probably sleep together. It was tradition._

_"You're my best friend, y'know?" Dab whispered, looking me in the eye._

_I smiled. "I wouldn't want things to be any different."_

_Dab smiled back, and closed his eyes. I fell asleep to the sound of quiet snoring. Little did I know that would be the last time I ever slept in the bed besides him. Little did I know that, after that night, I wouldn't see him again for years._

~*~

**~Thursday 11th October 2022~*~Morning~*~Dab Howlter~**

The door to my room creaked open. My eyes opened, and I looked around. Sunlight poured through the window. Dalien stood at the end of my bed. Evan's arms were wrapped around me.

_Evan's arms were wrapped around me._

My heart immediately begun to beat faster. He was so close to me, his head literally resting on my chest. Had we been like that the entire night? I thought back to the events of earlier, and realised that, yes, we had been like that all night. He had cut it off with Winter, asked if he could sleep at mine, hugged me, and... and then we fell asleep. Still hugging.

And now Dale was staring at us, his mouth wide open in shock.

"D-dale, u-um, don't-"

He squealed with excitement, and ran out of the room. I cringed. Dale knew that we had slept together, and he was probably going to tell Mum and Dad, and then... Then.... Well, probably nothing too bad would happen. We did the same thing as children. Surely they wouldn't be too surprised.

Then again, we were older now. I really didn't want them getting the wrong idea.

I turned over to face Evan. He looked so peaceful lying there. I didn't want to interrupt his sleep. To be perfectly honest, I would've stayed there all day with him, just watching him dream.

But I knew I couldn't do that. We had school. And, knowing my family, everyone else would probably burst into the room soon anyway. I did not want him to wake up to that.

"Ev?" I whispered, nudging him slightly. "Ev, it's time to wake up."

Evan groaned. "Five more minutes..." He wrapped his arms tighter around me.

"C'mon, Ev, it's time to wake up," I repeated, trying to escape from his grasp. As much as I wanted to stay in that comfortable position, I knew we had to move at some point.

The sleepy boy slowly opened his eyes, and looked up into mine. We smiled to one another, and began to move apart. For a moment, we just sat facing each other, grins plastered across our faces. Suddenly, Evan's face fell.

"Winter..." he muttered. "I... last night... God, what on Earth did I do?"

I put my hand on his shoulder. "You did the right thing," I assured him. "You weren't happy in that relationship. It was best to get out whilst you could."

"But... she must be so upset... and..." He gasped. "I just slept with you! Immediately after breaking up with her! God, what will everyone think?!"

I blushed. For a moment, I was lost for words. Was he thinking the same thing as me? That people will think... that people will spread stuff about Ev and I being... no. We were just friends, right? Nothing... Nothing more. Just friends. I tried my best to compose myself before replying.

"No one will... No one will think anything, ok? They don't need to know about last night," I told Evan. "Everything can just continue as normal. Nothing happened between us."

Ev nodded. "Y-yeah. No one needs to know about last night. I mean, it's no different from when we were kids, anyway."

And with that, Dale came bursting back into my room.

**~Thursday 11th October 2022~*~Morning~*~Dalien Howlter~**

I pointed over at the bed, and shouted, "Aha! Caught red handed!" Mum and Dad stood behind me. I turned around to see the confused looks on their faces. Frowning, I turned back to Dab and Evan. They weren't... They weren't cuddling anymore. What?

"Hello Evan," Dad said. "I didn't know you slept over last night."

Evan shrugged. "Just another spontaneous sleepover," he stated. "We haven't had one in years, so we thought it was about time."

"But you... you slept together! Like, cuddling!" I claimed, looking back at my parents. "I swear they were cuddling when I came in this morning."

Evan shot up, and grabbed his bag off the floor. "A-anyway, I should probably go back home!" he declared. "I-I mean, my parents are probably wondering where I am, and school is a thing or whatever. I'll, um, I'll see you later, Dab."

Dab smiled. "See you later."

**~Thursday 11th October 2022~*~Noon~*~Winter Holiday~**

I stared at Evan from my seat in the cafeteria, watching him joke around with Dab. Those two were such good friends. I was glad that there was a time when I was friends with them as well. But now... I knew that I could never be with them again. After the events of last night, I didn't even want to be friends with them. Evan had lied to me about... everything. He was never truly in love with me, was he?

A girl took a seat next to me, and put her hand on my shoulder. "Are you ok?" she asked. "You seem sad."

I sighed. "Just... deep in thought," I replied.

I looked up at the girl, who must have been in the year above me. She had shoulder-length brown hair with dark blue streaks, with a fringe handing over her chocolate brown eyes. She had a cute round face, dotted with freckles. Overall, she looked incredibly pretty.

I realised that I had been staring, and quickly cleared my throat. "I-I mean, I was just kind of upset... My boyf- Well, I broke up with someone else night."

"Aw, I'm so sorry," she said, giving me a small smile. "He wasn't worth it." There was a silence for a few moments. "I'm Gabriella, by the way. Or Gabby. Gabby Pendleton."

"Winter Holiday," I introduced. "It's nice to meet you, Gabby."

"Who was the guy you broke up with?" she inquired.

I hesitated, unsure as to whether or not I wanted to tell her. I certainly didn't want to talk about him, or think about him. But... Ever since we met (which was literally five minutes ago but still) she had been nothing but kind to me. She didn't even know my name, yet she was considerate, and tried to comfort me just because I looked upset. I wanted to be friends with her for certain.

"Evan," I replied. "Pancakes. E-Evan Pancakes."

She gasped. "You dated Evan?!" I nodded, confused as to why she seemed so confused. "I-I thought... I thought he was dating Dab."

"No, of cou- wait, what?!" Since when were those two dating? I thought they were just friends! They had said on multiple occasions that they were just friends! Unless... was he _cheating_ on me?! Is that why he wanted to break up? Because he was dating that... that _idiot_!

Gabby shrugged. "That's just what Dalien said. Y'know, Dab's alien brother? Well, he runs a blog, which I follow for... reasons. Apparently he's the 'number one Devan shipper', whatever _that_ means. He's always posting stuff about how cute they are together. I just assumed... I assumed they were a thing, y'know?"

I shook my head in disbelief. "But... Ev and I were dating for almost a month! There's no way... I mean, they could be... I don't..." I stood up. "I have to go." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so so sorry for not updating this in like over a month, i am bad at keeping up with stuff i will try to like actually keep with stuff in the future. and to make sure i do do that, i a, going to make a schedule. i will release a chapter of this every sunday. that should allow me to continue working on my other fics as well, which are also in my schedule (my other fics are over on my wattpad, @amybri182002, if you want to read those) and also school and stuff soooo yeah
> 
> i hope you enjoyed the chapter, please do leave your response to the chapter down in the comments, i love reading people's comments it really makes my day
> 
> see ya guys~


	9. Old Beliefs

_"Daaaaaab" I moaned, bouncing on the edge of the bed. "Are we going to go or not?!"_

_Dab sighed. "Patience, Dale, we have to wait for the Pancakes."_

_I groaned. "Dad already said that Eliza and Bob aren't coming, let's just goooo."_

_He shook his head. "Evan promised he'd join us."_

_I frowned. "Evan? A-as in, their son?" I inquired._

_My brother rolled his eyes. "Of course I mean their son," he replied. "Who else would I be talking about?"_

_I shrugged. "I dunno. I just... I didn't think he'd be coming. I didn't think you'd want him to come."_

_"E-Evan is amazing, why wouldn't I want him to come?"_

_I could swear my brother was blushing. The past couple of weeks, he'd hardly hung out or spoken with his friend. I had begun to wonder what was up with up. I had actually started to believe that they weren't friends anymore. They definitely weren't as close as they used to be. However, whenever I mentioned Evan, Dab would get all flustered. I don't think he understood his own feelings, but I could tell that even from a young age he was at least_ interested _._

_But than Evan moved, and suddenly Dab refused to even think about him. Everything had changed. Whenever he was mentioned, Dab would become all quiet, which was unusual for him._

_And then Evan returned, and everything changed once more. Dab lit up at the mention of him. He'd be talking about him, thinking about him constantly. Whenever we did something, he wanted to do it with Evan. He didn't understand, but I_ knew _. That's when I started to run my blog, DevanWatch. Soon enough, I found that people agreed with me. That people believed they were meant for each other._

~*~

**~Thursday 11th October 2022~*~Noon~*~Winter Holiday~**

I sat in a toilet stall, staring at my phone in disbelief. So it was true? The entire time Evan had been dating Dab? At least, that's what Dalien had claimed. His blog, going by the name of DevanWatch, had over a hundred followers, and almost one thousands posts just about what the two has been doing with their life.

_Dab and Evan went bowling - the way they looked into each other's eyes was magical!_

_Dab and Evan hugged! I repeat, Dab and Evan hugged! I have photo evidence!_

And, the most recent one: _Dab and Evan were together last night. I promise they had a peaceful sleep, and had a great time with each other!_

I locked my phone, and threw it to the floor. I heard the sound of glass smashing. I cursed, and knelt down to pick it up. It had a huge crack down the middle. Growling, I threw it to the floor again, which probably didn't help.

"Are you ok in there?" a gentle voice asked.

I shook my head, close to tears. For a few moments, I forgot that the person on the other side of the door obviously couldn't see me. I sighed, and mumbled, "No."

There was a brief silence, before she guessed, "Is this about the whole Dab/Evan situation?"

It was at that moment that I realised the person on the other side was the girl I was just speaking to. Gabby Pendleton. Had she followed me from the cafeteria? She must have... Wow. She was way nicer than I had thought, if she cared so much as to follow me and continue to attempt to make me feel better.

I opened the door, and walked out to meet her, wiping the tears from the corner of my eyes. "I-I'm sorry for leaving all of sudden," I apologising, fully aware that I hadn't answered her question from before. "I was just... I was shocked. I had never really considered that they would date, but looking at the blog... Well, there certainly seems to be a lot... a lot of evidence. And it's run by Dalien, right? He knows those two more than anyone."

Gabby gave me sympathetic smile. "Don't worry about him, he isn't worth it."

I nodded. "Y-yeah, you're right, he's not." However, I still couldn't get my mind of him. I had no desire to date him anymore, but I also felt as if I had to do... something, about all of this. I made a silent agreement with myself to confront him later.

**~Friday 12th October 2022~*~Before School~*~Evan Pancakes~**

Winter slapped me, leaving a red mark in the shape of her hand on my cheek. I stepped back, and put my hand up to the mark, stunned as to what just happened. Did she actually... what?

"Why the hell did you do that?!" I yelled, still clutching my cheek.

"Because you're an idiot!" she shouted. "You could have just told me that you weren't interested! Then, maybe this wouldn't have all happened! You and Dab could've happy, and we could've been friends! You shouldn't have cheated on me with him! We could've been _friends_!"

Tears were streaming down her face. What was she talking about? She was clearly upset because of... because of something _I_ had done. But... but I hadn't done anything! Apart from, obviously, breaking up with her, but other than that I had been nothing but kind! I... I hadn't cheated on her! She was the only person I had ever dated in my entire life!

I took a deep breath, trying my best to be the rational speaker. "Listen, Winter, I honestly have no clue what you are talking about. I promise you, I didn't cheat on you."

"Stop lying!" she screamed. "Everyone has seen the blog posts! It's no secret that you and Dab are in love!"

"Wh-what? I-I've n-never- _what_?!" I stuttered. "D-Dab and I... We aren't dating. There is _nothing_ going on between us. H-how did you even come up with that?"

She shoved her phone in my face, displaying a blog titled DevanWatch. There was a crack running down the middle of the screen, so it was slightly harder to read, but after skimming and scanning a couple of the posts, I had gotten the gist of what the blog posted.

It was all just-

Every single post was about Dab and I.

Every. Single. One.

And _none_ of it was true.

Well, I mean, it was true in saying what he had done, but... there was also details that definitely _did_ not happened. Hints of romance were sprinkled over the text. Hints of a romance that had never happened.

"Wh-who _made_ this?" I asked, shocked.

"Dab's brother," Winter replied. "Dalien. The one person who is always around you two. He knows you better than anyone. There's... There's no way he's lying. Even if you two aren't dating, there's clearly something going on. I..." She wiped away her tears. "I'm leaving. Don't expect me to come back. Ever."

**~Friday 12th October 2022~*~After School~*~Dab Howlter~**

"Dalien Howlter!" I shouted angrily, as soon as I entered the house. Evan had shown me the blog earlier, and, well... I did not find it funny at all. He was invading our privacy, and spreading around lies about our relationship. Ev and I were just friend. He should have known that.

Dalien came up to greet me, but looked scared as he saw the mad expression on my face. I held up my phone screen, displaying his blog. He froze with fear.

"I-I can explain," he stuttered, moving away slightly.

I shook my head. "No. No, you can't! There is no explanation, or reason for you to do this! Now, every, even Winter, thinks that I'm dating Evan, which couldn't be further from the truth!"

"I-I just thought-"

"No! You didn't think! You just went ahead and told the entire internet what you believed to be real. But it _isn't_ real! It's... I..." I ran my fingers through my long hair, which I had just dyed the darkest shade of black. "I need some time alone. But... Please... Stop the blog. Delete it. Just... I don't want people getting the wrong idea, ok?"

Dalien quickly nodded, and ran away to his room. I, too, went into my bedroom, and laid down on my bed, staring at my ceiling. Was there anything between Ev and I? I knew I was supposed to be angry at Dalien, which I was, but at the same time... As I was scrolling through the blog, I actually begun to think that he may be right. That there may be something between us.

Did I love him? I wasn't sure.

Did he love me? Maybe I would never know.


	10. Old Fears

_"Hey, Dad," I called, staring at him as he stared at the machine._

_"Wait a second, Dalien, I'm trying to concentrate," he replied, not even turning around to look at me. Instead, he kept his gaze locked on his invention._

_I sighed, and moved away from my Dad's workspace. Of course he was busy, he always was at work. Always working on something. Which made sense, I supposed. All I had wanted to do was ask him a simple question. I would just have to wait until I got home, or until he was done with his work. Maybe on the way home._

_Either way, I knew he'd have to answer my questions eventually._

~*~

_Later that night, as my Dad and I walked home, I finally asked him the question that had been bugging me for years._

_"How come we never see Evan anymore?"_

_Dad frowned. "He moved away to Oasis Springs, remember?"_

_I nodded. "Yeah, I know that, but like, we never see him. He doesn't even come to visit! I though he was, like, BFFs with my brother. Maybe more."_

_"They were friends. Years ago. They kinda drifted apart as the years went on."_

_"Oh." I looked down to floor. I guess they weren't as good friends as I thought. That was... kinda disappointing, to be perfectly honest. I had always looked up to their friendship, and wanted a friendship just as deep as theirs. However, it obviously wasn't as amazing as Dab had been telling me._

_I walked the rest of the way home in silence._

~*~

**~Saturday 13th October 2022~*~Just After Midnight~*~Dalien Howlter~**

My finger hovered over the button that would change everything. One click, and it would all be gone. One click, and it would be like it never happened. One click, and I might get my brother back.

I had worked so hard of this. All these years of building up an audience, of creating a perfect world, of changing people's views on life... it would all disappear. I didn't know if I was prepared to erase my identity. I didn't know if I was prepared to lose it all.

However, I also knew what I did was wrong. It was an invasion of their privacy, and I should never have done it in the first place. Deleting it would be the right thing to do.

I took a deep breath, and pressed _delete blog_.

**~Sunday 14th October 2022~*~Morning~*~Evan Pancakes~**

I laid in bed, staring at my ceiling. Sunlight poured through the windows. I wished it would go away. I had been lying in bed since Friday night, almost afraid to move. Afraid that if I looked at my phone, I would receive messages that I didn't want to hear, from people I didn't want to talk to. Afraid that if I went outside, I would come face-to-face with Dab, and we would have to address what we had discovered.

Still, I wasn't even sure if anyone knew about the blog. Sure, I had been told it had a large following, but that didn't mean the following came from around here. Most of the people who followed he blog probably didn't even know who I was. Maybe they thought I was simply a fictional character created by Dalien himself, or it was just a joke between friends that had expanded to the Internet.

I was so tempted to just go onto the blog myself, and actually read what Dalien had written. Maybe I would discover that it was actually was just a joke, and then Dab and I could continue my life as normal. But then again, I was afraid to do that as well. Afraid that if I looked at it, I would realise the truth.

I would realise that Dalien was right.

I would realise that I _was_ in love with Dab Howlter.

I mean, it would be a lie if I said I didn't find him to be attractive. The way his long hair would wave in the soft breeze, the way he managed to make it look different every single day, whether that be with a new colour, or a new style. I wanted more than anything to be able to just run my fingers through it, pick out all the different colours he had dyed it in the past, feel the softness I wish that I could have. And his _eyes_! Every time I stared into those round, deep-brown eyes, I would get lost in them.

I enjoyed every moment I spent with that guy. Even if we were completely opposites, him being loud and artsy, and me being quiet and nerdy, we just seemed to _understand_ each other _perfectly_. It would be amazing to be able to spend the rest of my life with him.

Which I would be able to do anyway, as friends. Because that's what we were. Friends.

Dab didn't, _couldn't_ see me as anything else. He would find himself a girl, and have a beautiful life with her. I would myself a girl, and have a... at least have a life with her, whether it be a happy life or not. We would still be friends, as we always had been.

Just friends.

_Right?_

I laid there for another moment or so, before I grabbed my phone off the side of my desk. I quickly loaded up Dalien's blog, wanting to see for myself what Dalien thought of us two. Maybe _he_ had put up something about Dab's actual feelings for me. Maybe reading about his feelings would make me realise my feelings. I was confused about the whole situation. I knew I liked him, but I still wasn't sure if I _liked_ him, if that made sense. 

When the page finally loaded, I frowned. It... this wasn't what Winter has shown me. The page was completely blank. The blog... the blog didn't exist.

Had Dalien deleted it? Why? I suppose... Dab must have told him to get rid of it. I guess that meant that Dab _didn't_ have feelings for me. He must have been embarrassed that people even _thought_ he had feelings for me.

That was it, huh?

He would never return my feelings.

**~Sunday 15th October 2022~*~Afternoon~*~Dalien Howlter~**

After deleting the blog the night before, I had turned off my phone, and hadn't been on it since. I knew that as soon as I logged on, I would find way too many messages about the blog, and I wasn't prepared to deal with that.

I hadn't spoken to Dab, either. I supposed that I should probably have said something to him, at least told him the blog was gone, but... I didn't want to face him. I truly regretted what I had done, and I was honestly wondering how I had kept it up for so long with him finding out, or without me deciding against the entire thing before it got too serious.

A heard a gentle knock on my bedroom door.

"Go away," I muttered, turning to my side. Another thing worth mentioning - I had barely left my room since Friday night, only really going out to get food or to use the bathroom.

Despite my obvious refusal, the person came in anyway. I tried hard not to look at them, but when they sat down next to me on my bed, I couldn't help but look up. It was Dad.

"Dale, son, are you alright?" he asked.

"Yeah," I lied.

He frowned. "You haven't been yourself these past few days. Is something troubling you?"

I shook my head, replied with, "No." Another blatant lie.

"Dale, you know you can talk to me about anything," he promised. "I literally birthed you, you can trust me." I snorted. He would always bring that up whenever I refused to tell him my actual feelings.

After a moment of silence, I sighed. It wasn't fair for me not to tell him. I knew I would get into trouble over it, but... I deserved to be in trouble.

"I, um... Something happened between Dab and I," I admitted. "I... I was joking around about him and Evan, saying that they were in love and stuff, I really didn't mean to hurt him, and I was really sorry about everything, but... he didn't take it that well. He shouted at me. I don't really want to talk to him. So I stayed in my room, away from him." I was telling the truth. I had _mostly_ been joking - of course, part of me still believed they were a thing, but Dad didn't have to know that. And Dad _definitely_ didn't have to know about the blog.

Dad stared at me for a moment. "Dab has already told me about the whole thing. He's calmed down. It isn't entirely your fault. He was just shaken, that's all, so don't worry."

"Really?" Dad nodded. I sighed with relief. "Thank God, I was actually afraid he would hate me forever."

Dad patted me on the back, stood up, and held out his hand. "Join us for movie night? Mum made fish tacos!"

I groaned. "Not again..." Still, I took his hand, and walked through to the living room. Just as promised, there was a plate of fish tacos on the table, and a movie beginning to play on the tv.

Dab didn't say a word about Evan, or the blog. It was as if the whole thing hasn't happened in the first place, and I was thankful for that.


	11. Old Creations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, before we begin...   
> evan's hair oh my god i actually cannot   
> also, i know that their appearances in this fic do not at all represent what they actually look like now, but... i'm not gonna change it i'm sorry i've grown to love these characters as how i have personally written them 
> 
> also, i am so so sorry for not updating this sooner. i'll try my best to update more frequently, but idk i'm trying ok   
> please do feel free to shout at me if i leave this for a month again
> 
> anyway, onto the next chapter!

_My first proper sketchbook. My first piece of actual art._

_Sure, I had done small drawings before then, but this! This was real art! With a pencil in my hand, colours laid to the side, and a book filled with fresh, clean paper in front of me, I felt like a real artist. I knew that this was what I wanted to be. The way hours would only seem like minutes, the way the pencils would slide over the paper, the way the picture seemed to come alive with every stroke... It was calming. I didn't have to think, it just happened, and it was wonderful._

_Dad would sometimes watch me draw. He admired how I could create something wonderful from basically nothing. I was glad to have a father that cared so much about that kind of stuff._

_As for what I would draw, sometimes even I didn't know. They weren't always actual things. They were more like... feelings. My thoughts, my emotions, projected onto paper, created with paint and ink._

_Paper strewn across my bedroom floor._

_Canvas' filling the schools art room, the majority of them with my mark._

_All of my emotions, just out there for people to view. Not that any of them would understand. No one would understand. They just see the pretty colours, the pretty landscapes, and nothing else. Nothing deep. Nothing like how I feel when I see them._

_I put my pen down, and closed my sketchbook. I took a deep breath. This art was only for your eyes, for your thoughts. They don't need to know what it means. They don't need to understand. Nobody knows you better than yourself._

_I left the art room, holding the book close to my chest, close to my heart._

**~Monday 16th October 2022~*~Third Period~*~Dab Howlter~**

_Its terrible, everyone is going to hate it, you should just quit now._

"Shut up, me," I muttered, under my breath. I had been staring at what must have been my hundredth attempt at a simple sketch for what had seemed like hours. Of course, it had only been half an hour at the most, but I couldn't help but stare in disappointment. It was nothing like what I had pictured. It looked weird. I hated it.

I felt someone looking over my shoulder. The teacher. Of course. Goddamnit.

"That's... great, Dab," she complimented. "Is this what you've been trying to work on this past month.

I nodded. "Yeah. I, um, I thought it'd be a nice change, y'know?"

It was very different from my usual style. Usually, I wouldn't think so much about making it perfect, so I wouldn't have to plan to much. This project was much more detailed, less abstract. It didn't exactly convey my emotions, instead conveying my... life, I suppose. A part of my life that I couldn't stop thinking about, but also didn't know how to talk about. It was confusing. And, lately, it had just got even more confusing. So instead of showing that through colours and shapes, I was trying my best to properly visualise it, and let out my emotions threw... a portrait. The first portrait I had ever attempted.

"When do you think you'll start painting?" the teacher questioned.

I shrugged. "When I'm finally happy with the sketch, I suppose."

She nodded, and walked away. As soon as she was out of sight, I ripped the page out of my sketch book. The drawing wasn't to the standard I had hoped for, so I wanted to try it again. Make it better. I sighed, and went back to sketching.

**~Monday 23rd October 2022~*~Third Period~*~Dab Howlter~**

For the first time in over a month, I put brush to canvas, and painted the first stroke. I had finally completed the sketch that I had been working on, and I was mostly happy about it. Maybe a few small mistakes here and there, but... I could fix that when it came to the actual painting. I was certain that this would be my best piece yet.

I looked at the sketch every few seconds, before returning to the canvas. Sometimes I would stare for longer - it was a nice face to look at, even if it wasn't the real thing. After a couple of strokes, I finally got into that mindset I had so dearly missed. I was finally able to forget the world, and just paint. Just me, and my art. Free from my own thoughts.

It only seemed like five minutes when the teacher came over, and told me it was time to pack away. Had it already been an hour? No way!

I smirked. The lesson had only seemed like five minutes. That was a good sign. That meant I had actually found that special place again. That special place in my mind, where time wasn't real, and all I had to think about was what I was created, and watch it come to life.

I left the art room, the happiest I had been in over a month.

**~Monday 30th October 2022~*~Third Period~*~Dab Howlter~**

I threw my pallete to the ground, and grabbed the canvas off the easel, chucking it away. Everything had gone wrong. I couldn't possibly hand that in. It looked terrible, none of my emotions had been transferred into the piece, and I just... I didn't like it.

The teacher came rushing over. "Dab? Are you ok?"

I groaned, but nodded. "Y-yeah, I'm fine. I just- I'm starting again." I went to reach for my sketchbook, before the teacher grabbed my arm, stopping me. "Miss?"

"No, you're not sketching it out again," she said, sternly. "The sketch is already perfect, and that painting was beautiful. Have more confidence in your ability. Just, paint, as you always do. I assure you, it'll turn out wonderfully."

I sighed, turning back to the easel. "I guess so. I'm still starting again, though. The painting, I mean. I want this to be perfect."

The teacher nodded, and moved away. I picked out a new canvas.

**~Monday 6th November 2022~*~Third Period~*~Dab Howlter~**

It was so close to being complete. Once I had finally put my mind to it, without having to worry about making it perfect, for _him_ , I managed to just... paint. I didn't have to worry about what he would think. This was me painting for myself. Just like always. It will turn out ok. They always do.

The bell rang. I didn't want to walk away from my canvas. I wanted to stay right where I was, and continue. I had finally got into the mood for painting, and I didn't want to let that go.

"Dab, it's time to leave," the teacher said.

"Please, just, I want to continue doing this."

She shook her head, smiling fondly. "Fair enough. Can I trust you to stay here alone?"

"Yes, Miss."

"Ok. Don't make too much of a mess. And don't be late to your next lesson." She left the room.

I returned to my painting. This type of picture was so much harder to do than my usual. I had to actually pay attention to smaller details, and had to try to make it look realistic. With landscapes, I could always get lost in the world I was creating, and I wouldn't have to pay much attention to what I was actually doing. But a portrait, based on a real person... that wasn't so easy. I couldn't get lost in that. I couldn't go and explore a new world. I was still in reality.

It was different.

But also kind of...

Interesting.

I didn't dislike it. In fact, I could see myself doing more of this in the future.

Assuming I could find the right person. Landscapes could be anything I wanted. Painting faces... you need to know people who you can use to model it. Without the right person, I knew it would just turn out terrible.

But this person...

He was meant for it.

**~Monday 13th November~*~Lunch~*~Dab Howlter~**

Evan was standing in the doorway.

I didn't want him to come into the art studio.

If he did, he would see the painting, and that would just ruin the surprise.

No, he couldn't see.

I don't know if he could ever see.

What up if he thought it was weird? I didn't exactly have _permission_ to do it... Then again, we had been friends for years. I had given him paintings as gifts before. He had always loved them. I was certain that this would be the best one yet.

I walked out of the studio, and closed the door behind me.

"What are you working on?" Evan asked.

"It's a surprise," I replied.

He raised his eyebrow. "Surprise?"

"Yeah. You'll see what I'm painting when I've finished. Which, hopefully, should be soon..."

Evan shrugged. We continued to walk to lunch.

**~Monday 20th November~*~Third Period~*~Dab Howlter~**

I painted the final stroke. It was completed. Finished. Weeks of hard work, finally put into something that was truly amazing. I took a step back, to admire my piece.

It truly _was_ amazing.

I had somehow managed to pick out every detail. Everything from his big, brown eyes, to his perfect nose, to that one strand of hair that always found its fair over his ear.

Sitting in front of me was almost a perfect, painted copy of Evan Pancakes.

As I stared at him, I realised something. Something that I had been hiding deep, deep down. Perhaps the reason why I had felt such a need to create this piece of art.

_Holy fucking shit, I'm in love with Evan Pancakes!_


	12. Old Feelings

_I hadn't ever been in love before._

_Not really._

_Anything that I had ever felt towards a girl had just been silly crushes, infatuations. I would meet a girl, and become friends with her, and I felt like I_ had _to 'fall in love', because I was a boy, and she was a girl, and that's just how life_ worked _._

_But, it wasn't real. I didn't actually want to spend my entire life with her. All I wanted was to be friends. Just friends._

_Same with any boy that I met. We were friends. Nothing more. Which made sense, because boys didn't fall for boys, did they? I felt no pressure to fall for them. Because I was a guy._

_This was different when it came to Evan. We were never_ just _friends. There was always something more._ He _was something more. I had known him for all of my life, and I wanted to know him for the rest. Even after we had drifted apart, he was always in the back of my mind._

_It never occurred to me that those feelings might have meant something more than just... wanting to be his best friend._

_However, the more that I thought about it, the more that I realised that maybe, just maybe, we could be more than friends. There was nothing wrong with guys falling in love with guys. I had seen it happen before. Heck, my own grandparents were two dudes who had fallen in love!_

_Another thing that I had never realised was that I was definitely not straight. I had never thought about the entirely obvious fact that I was completely and utterly gay for the kid who lived across the road. The kid who had changed my life._

_Why am I only now realising this?_

**~Monday 20th November 2022~*~Evening~*~Dab Howlter~**

"You were right," I said, as I strolled through the door, dropping off my backpack by the door.

The rest of my family looked up at me, clearly waiting for an explanation. I fell down onto the sofa, sinking in to the chair, and looked over at Dalien.

"You were right," I repeated, "about Evan." I heard a faint gasp coming from Dale, then watched as a huge smile formed across his face.

"You mean-" I nodded. He squealed, and ran off to his bedroom, slamming the door shut.

My Dad looked at me, frowning. "What was that about?"

"Oh, yeah, Mum, Dad..." I took a deep breath. "I'm, like, massively gay. And head-over-heels in love with the neighbours son. Evan Pancakes."

"Yeah, and the sky is blue," Dad replied. I stared at him. What was he on about? "You know your mother and I guessed that years ago. It's kinda obvious."

I sighed. First Dale, and now my parents. It was as if everyone apart from me knew about my huge gay crush on Evan. What had the world come too?

"Wait, so if you knew... does Evan know? And, like, does he feel the same way?" I asked, hoping with all of my heart that they would say yes.

Dad just shrugged. "Why don't you go ask him?"

**~Monday 10th November 2022~*~Evening~*~Evan Pancakes~**

I hadn't seen Dab in a while. I wasn't sure if he had been avoiding me, or if I had been avoiding _him._ Sure, we still sat together at lunch, and stuff, but... we didn't speak like we used to. And we hardly ever saw each other after school. I was almost afraid that we would have a repeat of primary. That we would slowly drift apart. Find new friends.

Or, at least, _he_ would find new friends, and _I_ would be left mostly alone.

It had been almost a month since the blog was deleted. That meant it had been almost a month since I realised that I was in love with Dab. That also meant it had been almost a month since I realised that Dab would never feel the same way.

I heard Mum call me from downstairs. I groaned, shutting the lid on my laptop and slowly walking down the stairs.

"Answer the door," she ordered.

I frowned. "You called me downstairs to _answer the door_?"

She glared at me. "Trust me, you want to be answering the door right now."

I rolled my eyes, but did as she instructed. I opened the door, only to see him standing on the other side. Dab Howlter. My... friend. Standing there in the moonlight. His eyes were sparkling. He had dyed his hair bright pink some time between when he left school and now. It looked... beautiful. He looked beautiful.

I tried my best not to blush. However, I was fairly sure that my cheeks had turned as bright as his hair.

"Evan, I-"

I stepped aside, allowing him to come inside. "You ok?"

He nodded. "Yeah, great, I just need t-"

"Your hair looks nice," I complimented. I wasn't sure why I kept interrupting him. Maybe it was because I was afraid of what he was trying to tell me. Thankfully, he didn't seem to mind that I had said that.

"Thank you!" he replied with a smile, unzipping his coat. "A-anyway, I need to, um, talk to you..."

I returned the smile. "Ok, what is it?"

He opened his mouth, but no noise came out. He stood there staring into my eyes, in complete silence. I stared back. We stayed like that for what seemed like hours. Eventually, he grabbed my hands. I instinctively pulled away, telling him that his hands were freezing. He laughed. He shook my head, still smiling, and took his hand again.

"I, um, I want to show you something. Follow me?" he invited.

I nodded. "Sure." I turned my head to the kitchen. "Mum, I'm going out!"

"Ok, sweetie! Don't be too long!"

Dab dragged me out of the door, and into the unknown.

**~Monday 10th November 2022~*~** **Night** **~*~Winter Holiday~**

Gabby had come round to my house. We had actually been hanging out a lot over the last month or so. After the whole fiasco with Dab and Evan, we had gotten closer. She had been there to comfort me, and everything. She was _extremely_ kind, somehow.

We were sitting on the roof, gazing at the stars. She seemed to have an interest in astronomy, which I found sort of cute. Whenever there were stars in the sky, she would point out all the constellations, and tell me the stories behind them. I never really paid attention to the facts, but her voice was calming, in a way. She had a nice voice. It was even nicer when she was talking about something that she was passionate about.

"You know, I think you're a really cool person," I told her.

That made her laugh. "In what way?"

I shrugged. "I dunno. You're super kind to me and stuff. And, like, whenever you talk, I feel super calm. You have a really calming voice."

She looked over at me. "You really think that?" she said, with disbelief. "I always hated my voice. Especially when I'm excited about stuff. It makes me sound super annoying. Like, I just go on and on, and no one really understands what I'm saying, or talking about, and, like..."

I cut her off by placing my lips on hers. I don't know where that came from. Where did that come from? I had never, _never_ thought about her in that way... had I? This seemed to be going so fast. We weren't dating. We were just friends. I had to pull away, and apologise, and-

She was kissing me back. Her lips were soft. Softer than all the boys lips I had ever kissed. And she must have been wearing lip balm, cherry flavoured lip balm... she tasted like cherries. I didn't even like cherries that much. However, I somehow liked it more when it was her.

She wrapped her arms around my waist, pushing closer to me. I out my hand down, trying to keep my balance. We were still on a roof. I didn't want to fall of it.

We pulled our lips apart, with her arms still over my shoulders. She smiled, and said, "Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to do that?"


	13. Old Insecurites

_We hadn't seen each other for a while. Dab had always been off with his arty friends at the museum or the park or something, and he'd always been busy when he wasn't, which hadn't left us much time to hang out. That was beginning to happen more and more._

_However, the Howlter's were hosting a party to celebrate Dil's dads birthday, and when then Howlter's are hosting a party_ everyone _is there. No exceptions._

_So, it really wasn't a surprise when I ended up sleeping over. Dad had gone home early, and Mum wasn't going to leave anytime soon. Eventually, people began to clear out. I was still there at three in the morning. There was really no point in me leaving at time. Dab asked me if I wanted to sleep over._

_He told me to wait in his room whilst he went and got changed. It felt kind of awkward. Again, we hadn't done this in a while. His room had changed since the last time I was here. There were a couple more drawings pinned onto the wall. His easel displayed a blank canvas. His desk was empty - that never happened. He always had_ something _that he was working on._ Always _._

_Frowning, I opened up the draw on his desk._ Surely _there was something that he had drawn recently. Not surprisingly, I did manage to find... something. Loose sheets of A4 paper, decorated with swirls of different colours. It looked as if he had used simple ballpoint pens to create it. There wasn't much depth, nothing like his usual art. Still, it was beautiful, in a way._

_I took the top one out the drawer, revealing more underneath. Exactly the same, except darker. The colours were less bright. As I got further and further down the pile, it just continued getting darker. At some point, he had switch the ballpoint pen with a small paintbrush. They were all still just as beautiful as the next._

_Dab entered the room. I immediately dropped the paper onto the floor in surprise. My friend stared at me in disbelief._

_"Wh-where you- Are they- Evan!"_

_He quickly crouched down, and picked up the drawings, shoving them back in the drawer._

_"I'm sorry," I apologised. "I-I was just curious, and I thought they looked_ amazing _, and-"_

_Dab shook his head. "Its fine, don't worry, I just..." He took a deep breath. "I wasn't planning on showing those to anyone."_

**~Monday 10th November 2022~*~Just Before Midnight~*~Evan Pancakes~**

"Seriously, Dab, where are you taking me?" I asked. 

The moon was high in the sky, and I was still being dragged through the streets of Willow Creek by my friend. He hadn't said a word since we left my house, and it was honestly beginning to scare me. What was he planning? And why did it seem so desperate?

"It's a surprise," Dab finally said. "You'll understand once we are there... hopefully."

He seemed nervous. Whatever he was going to show me must have been important. I still had no clue what that could be, though. 

His grip on my wrist was getting tighter as he walked faster. That walk soon turned into a run. I struggled to keep up with him. _Don't worry, Ev, it's fine, you're fine, he's fine._

Dab stopped outside our school gates. I came up besides him, panting for breath, and looked up at him. His glanced up at the gate. I followed his gaze so I was also staring at the gate. It was closed, with a padlock keeping it shut.

"Why is the gate closed?" he wondered. 

I tried to stop myself from laughing. Tried. Loud laughter exploded from my mouth, that could probably have been heard from miles away. "Because its night? They don't usually open school when its literally almost midnight?"

"But.. that means..."

I took Dab's hand, squeezing it tight. "Don't worry. Assuming that what you wanted to show me is at school, you can just show me tomorrow." He looked over at me. "And, since it's almost midnight, as I mentioned, we should probably be heading back home."

Dab groaned. "Are you kidding me? I had, like, an entire speech planned out. I was rehearsing it in my head on the way here. I _have_ to show you _tonight_! I won't be able to sleep if I don't..."

"Hey, Dab," I said, calming, taking his other hand. They were both freezing. I figured mine probably were too. "Whatever you want to say, you can just... tell me. You know that you can tell me _anything_!"

He shook his head. "N-no, I can't." I looked into his eye. "I-I mean, I can! I know that I... I can talk to you. About... stuff. I just..." He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. This isn't going like I planned at all."

"It's fine, Dab," I reassured him. 

He nodded. "Yeah, yeah... um, how about we do something else? I still kinda wanna talk to you about something, but, like, not here. The park?"

"Dab. It's midnight," I reminded him. 

"So?"

"The park will be closed."

He smirked. "Is that a problem?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, that is a problem. We cannot just go to the park at midnight. We need to go back home and sleep ready for school in the morning."

He pouted. Like, actually pouted. I was beginning to worry about his mental state at that point. 

"Please?"

I couldn't say no to him. 

**~Tuesday 11th November 2022~*~Just After Midnight~*~Dab Howlter~**

And, with that, I had managed to convince the famous Evan Pancakes to break into the park with me so that we could stargaze by the lake. It reminded me of that time back in September. After we had been reunited. Now that I thought about it, that little hangout was almost like a first date-

_Don't get ahead of yourself, Dab,_ the voice in my head interrupted. _You don't even know if he likes you back yet._

"Shut up," I whispered. 

Evan looked over at me. "What was that?"

"O-oh, nothing, just talking to myself," I quickly recovered. 

He frowned. "Sure..." The was silence for a moment, which just the sound of crickets chirping. A couple of fireflies flew around our heads, illuminating the scene in front of us. The lake spread out for miles - it looked even bigger in the dark. A full moon reflected on the surface of the water, and the million shining stars could have been mistaken for the fireflies. It was beautiful, almost as beautiful as Evan himself. 

"What did you want to talk to me about?" Evan asked, bringing me back into reality. 

I bit my lip. It still didn't feel right to tell him _right_ now. The whole plan was to show him the painting, and then go on from there. It would be easier for me to explain with art in front of me. Then again, just with Evan there, it seemed as if I was already staring at art. 

I hadn't realised, but his hair had grown longer since September. It looked soft. I felt a sudden urge to reach over and stroke it, run my fingers through it until I fall asleep in his presence. 

I shook that thought away. You can't just do that, Dab. That would be creepy. _He probably doesn't even like you_.

No. He does. Dale knows. My parents know. _Literally the entire internet knows thanks to that dumb blog._

I took a deep breath, for like the millionth time that night. "Evan, I-"

The was a bang in the distance, interrupting my confession. A man came running up the hill, shining a touch towards us. 

"Crap, we should, uh, we should probably-"

Evan was one step ahead of me. He grabbed my hand, and dragged me away, heading back to his house and into safety. 


	14. Old Heartache

_Valentines Day, 2015. Evan and I were only ten, and yet there we were. In the big city. Alone._

_To be fair, it wasn't that strange. The kids of Willow Creek would always be traveling to the city for day-trips on the weekends, whilst their parents had some time alone. Sometimes the parents would come with them, but the children always liked having some freedom._

_However, what was weird was Evan's choice to take me on Valentines Day. Everything was covered in red hearts, and teenage couples were just sitting around, kissing and being all lovey-dovey with each other. My ten-year-old mind thought it was kinda gross. It wasn't until years later that I would find it cute, inspiring._

_I had thought it would be funny to make fun the whole situation. Some people were selling roses in the City Square, as people did on this day. I took one from them, patted Evan on the shoulder, and gave him the rose._

_He laughed._

_The twinkle in his eye was cute. He seemed genuinely excited to be given a rose. Even if it was only given to him in order to mock the actual couples handing each other blood red roses. I found myself smiling fondly._

_That wasn't even the first time. Or the last. It seemed to happen almost every day. The more I thought about it, the more I realised that I actually_ did _love all that romantic crap. Almost as much as I loved seeing Evan's reaction. I really_ did _love him._

_Seriously, how had I not realised that sooner?_

_In what world could we ever been_ just friends _. It seemed genuinely impossible. Why had I tried so hard to make it seem that way, when it was clear that that would just_ not _happen?_

**~Tuesday 11th November 2022~*~Morning~*~Dab Howlter~**

I woke up in an unfamiliar bed, sleeping inches away from a familiar boy.

Evan Pancakes.

I was... sleeping next to Evan Pancakes.

My face heated up. I was lying right next to him, our bodies almost touching. _Our bodies almost touching._ And he looked even cuter in his sleep. So peaceful.

A single curl of black hair had fallen in front of his closed eyes. I reached out, and brushed it up. It immediately fell back done again. I probably should have seen that coming. Thankfully, though, it didn't wake him up. And his hair was even softer than it looked, so I suppose one nice thing came out of it at least. I smiled. 

Then I realised what was happening. I had slept in the same bed as Evan Pancakes. Without him knowing about the huge crush I had on him. It wasn't as if we hadn't done this before, but... I couldn't stop my heart from racing. 

How had we even ended up there?

I had no memories of falling asleep in this house. Then again, I also had no memories of going back to my own house after coming around to Evan's. I remember walking to the school, then to the park, and then running _away_ from the park. 

That's what must have happened. Evan must have brought me back here, and... 

Oh God. What the hell was I supposed to tell my parents?

**_~Tuesday 11th November 2022~*~Hours Before~*~Evan Pancakes~_ **

_I couldn't remember much from the journey home. Dab and I just ran, and ran, and ran. It was late. It wasn't safe. I knew that we had to get back._

_Dab didn't seem with it at all. He looked confused. Upset. But, at the same time, he looked like he was having the time of his life. Every time I looked over, I could swear I saw a tiny smile at the edge of his mouth, and every time he looked at me, I could swear I saw his pupils grow larger, and his smile widen, and his eyes sparkle with delight. Even if there was still tears running down the sides of his cheeks._

_His hand was still clinging onto mine, gripping down so hard that I wasn't sure if we could ever let go. In that moment, we were one. Our hands, our minds, our hearts intertwined. Nothing could stop us. Not even the police that were chasing after us - since, y'know, we kinda broke into the park in the middle of the night and sat by the lake. Stargazing._

_Why had Dab been so insistent of us hanging out? He must have wanted to ask me something. Or tell me something. I knew that he wanted to_ show _me something, but even that remained a mystery. I suppose I would find out tomorrow, since whatever he had wanted to show me was in school._

_It was killing me inside. The suspense. I just_ had _to know._

_By the time we arrived back on our street, it looked as if the police had given up. We were safe. And Dab looked as if he was falling asleep. We slowed to a stop, and he immediately collapsed onto me from exhaustion. I smiled fondly._

_I knew I probably should have taken him back to his own house, but in that moment, all I wanted to do was get back inside. Going to his house would probably result in me having to deal with his parents - which, sure, they weren't as bad as my own, but it would still be difficult to explain why their son was leaning on me, pretty much asleep by, at midnight, in what appeared to be rain beginning to fall._

_The rainfall became heavier, and with that I made up my mind. He was gonna stay with me that night._

_Although he wasn't entirely paying attention to what was going on, I managed to guide Dab through the front door of my house, and take him upstairs. Once there, I allowed him to climb into my bed, not bothering to make him change into pyjamas. I didn't think he would be awake enough to even attempt that. Besides, it didn't matter that much, even if his clothes were now soaking through, and his long, wet hair dripping onto my pillow. I couldn't be angry at him for that._

_I quickly got changed out of my clothes and put on a simple black t-shirt and pyjama bottoms. I didn't bother to go into a different room - I assumed that Dab was already fast asleep at this point, and, even if he wasn't, we had known each other for long enough to just not care. He had seen me naked before. It really wasn't that big of a deal to us._

_I got into bed besides him, and easily fell asleep in his presence, perfectly content in his arms that had somehow found their way around my waist. Letting myself smile, I moved in closer, and had a peaceful night of beautiful dreams._

**~Tuesday 11th November 2022~*~Morning~*~Dab Howlter~**

Evan slowly opened his eyes, blinking as the soft sunlight come in through the window. The first thing he must have seen was me, my eyes lost in his. For a moment or two, we just stared at each other, smiling. My heartrate speed up. I enjoyed the feeling of my beating heart, aching to reach out and connect to his. 

I found myself blushing. 

"Uh, good morning," I greeted, trying my best to sound calm and collected, but in reality I knew that I sounded nervous. Not because I didn't want to be there, but because I had wanted to be here more than anything else in the world, and now that I finally was... I didn't know how to react. I didn't know how to be in love. 

Evan grinned. "Hey, Dab. Nice to see you."

"Evan, we literally just-"

"Shush, I know, I know," he interrupted. "You were kinda a handful last night. What with falling asleep on me in the middle of the street and such."

My eyes widened. "I- you- what?"

He giggled. "You must have been tired last night. That's why I brought you back here. You probably don't remember a thing, though."

I opened my mouth to reply, but nothing came out. Ugh. Why did he have to be so damn nice? Dealing with me, half asleep, in the middle of the night? How did he even _do_ that? How did he make me fall in love with him so _easily_? With every passing second, my heart just seemed to earn for him more. 

So, instead of continuing that conversation, I did what I did best. Flirt. I had always been a romantic at heart. "You look really cute in your sleep, by the way." Surprisingly, I found myself regretting every word. I didn't seem to stop, though. "You look really cute when you're awake, as well. Last night, when the moonlight was illuminating you, I couldn't help but stare at you in wonder. And your _eyes_! Last night, the way they sparkled when you looked up at the stars, and this morning, the way they lit up when you saw my face, and..."

I trailed off when I noticed him staring at me in disbelief. I realised that he didn't actually know about my crush on him yet. And I had just said all that romantic crap to him. He probably found it weird. Goddamnit. 

"I-I mean, you look good, y'know? Like, you're probably one of the most attractive fellas I've meet. And I'm so glad to have the privilege to be around you. Like, as a friend. Y'know?"

I don't think he brought it. 

"Look, I just woke up, I'm tired, I probably don't know what I'm saying."

He rolled his eyes, and shook his head, fondly. 

"C'mon, lets go get some breakfast," he suggested. 

"Pancakes?" I asked, hopefully. 

He smiled. "Pancakes."


	15. Old Mornings

_When we were younger, Evan would often sleep at my house, even on school nights. We would wake up besides each other, smiling, happy to be exactly where we were._

_"Oh, did Evan sleep over last night?" Mum would ask, as she cooked breakfast._

_I nodded. "Yeah. He has a change of clothes with him. We're gonna walk down to school together."_

_Mum smiled. "Of course, I wouldn't expect anything else."_

_We would have our breakfast, most likely pancakes, and then we'd be on our way. And it would be... nice. Nice to be spending time with somebody who you knew you could trust. Nice to think that, maybe, it could always be like this._

_Wake up together, eat together, go out together,_ live life _together._

_Those days were the best._

**~Tuesday 11th November~*~Morning~*~Evan Pancakes~**

"Isn't it, like, cannibalism, for you to be eating pancakes?"

I rolled my eyes, but failed to hold back laughter. "Dab, you're insane."

"So are you," he retorted, playfully. "I mean, here you are, eating your own family. Shame on you, Evan Pancakes. Shame."

Both Mum and Dad had already left for work, leaving me and Dab alone in the house. I supposed that was a good thing - they wouldn't even know that Dab was here, since they were already in bed when we returned last night, and had already left when we woke up this morning.

It also meant they probably hadn't heard our conversation this morning, which was still lingering in the back of my mind.

Dab has said some things. Some things that he probably hadn't meant to say. Not that they were bad things. In fact, they were incredible - I loved every syllable. _Last night, when the moonlight was illuminating you, I couldn't help but stare at you in wonder._ Every doubt I had about his feelings towards me had disappeared.

I suppose Dalien really was right.

"Hey, Dab?" His head shot up, a piece of pancake hovering just in front of his mouth. "Can I talk to you about something?"

He put the pancake inside his mouth, and was silent for a few moments as he ate. Then, he said, "Sure."

"I was just... thinking... about what you said this morning, and, like, the entirety of last night, and-"

"Shh!" he interrupted. "I-I'll get to that later. I, um, was actually going to get to it last night, but, uh, school was closed, so..."

I frowned. What _was_ this dude planning?

**~Tuesday 11th November~*~Before School~*~Winter Holiday~**

Gabby and I walked into school, hand in hand. I could feel people staring at us, but I didn't care. I was with her, and I loved her.

She made me question everything that I thought I knew about myself, but I was glad. I thought back to all the boys I had dated. They had always felt _right_. So then why did Gabby make me feel the same? Why did she made me feel _even better_?

She squeezed my hand, gently. I squeezed back.

"We can stop holding hands, if you want," Gabby said, quietly.

I shook my head. "No. This is fine."

"You don't mind that people are staring at us?"

I shrugged. "What difference does it make? I don't know any of these people, why would they impact my life?"

She paused for a second. "Fair point."

We continued walking towards the main entrance to the building. People weren't staring as much now, at least. The further into the crowd we went, the less we stood out. Not that standing out was a bad thing.

"Last night wasn't too weird, was it?" I asked. After the... thing on the roof, we had returned downstairs, and Gabby had ended up sleeping over. I had a spare bed in my room, so she took that. I had been too afraid to confront her about the kiss that morning. I suppose I was anxious as to what she would say. I wasn't thinking straight last night, and I didn't even know if she was either. She seemed ok with it, but... I don't know. Maybe she just didn't know how to react, and defaulted to her normal self - happy.

She laughed. "Of course it wasn't. I enjoyed it. The stars were beautiful."

"I-I was talking about, y'know..."

"Yeah, that thing. Again, I enjoyed it," Gabby reassured me.

I sighed in relief. "Thank God."

"And, to be perfectly honest," she continued, "I'd love to do it again sometime."

I blushed. "R-really?"

She smiled. "Of course."

_Goddamnit, why are you like this?_

**~Tuesday 11th November~*~Before School~*~Evan Pancakes~**

As soon as we exited the house, Dab sprinted off down the street. He seemed excited to get to school. Way too excited. I ran to keep up with him, panting. God, he was a fast runner.

"Dab, slow down!" I shouted.

He listened, thankfully, and stopping running as I caught up.

We walked besides each other for a couple minutes, until the school was in view. Once we were on the street, Dab grabbed my hand, and started running. Just as I had done the night before. A wave of happiness washed over me. Maybe this was exactly where I needed to be - with Dab, in this moment, running through the wind without a care in the world.

I looked over, smiling as I saw the huge grin across his face. His pink hair was going crazy, with the wind blowing it in every direction, revealing the black roots beneath. He didn't seem to care that it was getting in his eyes. He was happy.

We didn't slow down as we reached the gate. We continued running, speeding past the other students, all the way up to the art room. We stopped in the hallway, just outside the door.

"So, what did you want to show me?" I asked.

Dab took a deep breath. "Ok, so, I, uh, made a thing. And, now that I think about it, it was probably kinda creepy, and at the time I had no idea where it came from but I guess now I understand why I made it. And, uh, I wanted to show you, and also, like, tell you some stuff. But, um, just... don't freak out."

I frowned. "Why would I-"

He shushed me, and opened the door. Letting go of my hand, he led me into the room, and towards the easel at the back.

"I've been working on this for months," Dab stated. He bit his lip. "God, why am I showing you this?"

"Dab, I'm sure it's beautiful," I said.

"No, no, I'm not worried about that, I just-" He tapped his fingers against his leg. I could tell that he was nervous to be showing me this. "Well, I guess I should show you before I change my mind."

He turned the easel around, showing me the painting. My immediate thought was, _Woah, a portrait, he never does portraits!_ And then, _Wait, why do I recognise this?_ And then;

"You... you painted me."

He looked away. "Um, yeah, I, uh, yeah."

"This is..."

"It's not too creepy, is it?" Dab asked.

I laughed. "Why would it be creepy?"

"I-I dunno. I painted a picture of you, without your permission. N-now that I'm actually showing you, I'm realising just how creepy and _stalker_ -ish that sounds."

"Dude, we're friends, why would you painting me be an issue?"

He smiled.

"And, also, this is, like, brilliant?" I complimented. "You never do portraits. Is this your first portrait? 'Cause, damn, this is amazing for a first time. And, just, amazing in general."

"You like it?"

"Of course!" I exclaimed.

"In that case... Evan Pancakes, I have something to tell you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha wow y'all are gonna hate me for ending this there
> 
> anyway, i just wanted to pop in and say oH MY GODS THE LATEST SIMS VIDEO IT'S CANNON GUYS i screamed like twenty times watching that video wow
> 
> also, i wanted to inform y'all that this fic will probably end up being twenty chapters long, with the twentieth chapter being some kind of epilogue 'a few years later' kinda thing. although, knowing me, that could be happening in like months 'cause i don't know how to keep a proper schedule. and afterwards i'll probably be writing another davan fic. i have some ideas :) so don't worry, this won't be going away anytime soon 
> 
> love y'all <3 thanks for reading!


	16. Old Confessions

_I had never confessed to anyone in that way before._

_Perhaps that was because I had never felt those emotions. Any past feelings I had ever had for someone had been purely platonic. As much as I loved romance, I had never really experienced it before. At least, not in the real way._

_However, even if I had felt something for someone, I don't know if I would have been able to confess._

_I was an artist. Anything I had ever done to convey my emotions would be done through art. Not words._

_My pencil flew across the paper, creating rainbows when I was happy and storm clouds when I sad._

_But never love hearts for someone else._

**~** **Tuesday 11th November 2022~*~Before School~*~Dab Howlter~**

My heart pounded in my chest. Every part of me was screaming to stop, to tell a joke and laugh it off, to keep my feelings to myself. What if he didn't like me in that way? What if he found it weird? What if I got all tongue-tied? I had always been the confident kid, never tongue-tied. 

Ok, maybe I wasn't too worried about that. I knew exactly what I was going to say. I had been going over and over my speech in my head the entire way there, and the night before - I had basically started planning as soon as I figured out that I was in love with him. Heck, the speech had been changing, _evolving_ , since I had begun, as I fell in love with him more and more. 

But now that I was actually here? I had almost forgotten everything. 

All I could focus on was Evan. Not a single strand of his hair was out-of-place. His smile was soft, and gentle, and _real_. The constant, curious sparkle in his eye. He was a million times more beautiful in real life than in a painting. 

"Uh, Dab?" he said, shaking me out of my trance. 

"O-oh, uh, yeah, I..." I took a deep breath. It was now or never. And I had forgotten the entire speech I had planned. 

Thankfully, I wasn't too bad at improvising. 

"I have been working on this painting for weeks. At first, I didn't really grasp on why I decided to create it, but... recently, I have come to a realisation. I... You mean an awful lot to me, Evan Pancakes. These past couple of months have been the best time of my life. Even with all the drama with Winter, and Dalien, and the blog, and whatnot. I guess the reason why its been so great, is because _you_ are back in my life."

It scared me how confident I sounded. My heart was beating so fast it felt as if it were about to explode. I wasn't even thinking about what I was saying. I just... let the words flow out of me. Which was somehow easy when I was talking about Evan. 

"These little moments that we've spent together - the chess games, the stargazing... you heard me this morning, right? Talking about how I... how I felt last night. With you. I, well, I guess those moments are truly what have made my life... amazing. You, Evan, are an amazing person."

He laughed. Quietly, softly... fondly. "Dab, this is wonderful and all, but could you, like, get to the point?"

"That _is_ my point!" I exclaimed. "You are an amazing freaking person, Evan Pancakes! And I am so honoured to have you in my life."

"I mean, you're a pretty cool person too, Dab, but-"

"And _you know what_?" I took a deep breath. "I love you. So fucking much. And... I don't care if that makes our friendship weird or whatever. Like, you might not even feel the same way. But... I know for sure that I'm completely, helplessly in love with you."

And then, the room was filled with a deafening silence. 

**~Tuesday 11th November 2022~*~Before School~*~Evan Pancakes~**

_I love you._ Those three words echoed around my brain. He... Did he really feel that way? Did he really return my feelings for him? 

Was... Was Dalien actually, one hundred percent correct?

Dab was just staring at me, breathing heavily. A worried look spread across his face, as I stared back in silence. I didn't know how to react. Should I nod? Say that I love him back? Go straight in and kiss him just like that?

"I-I, um..." He bit his lip. "I mean, well, really, if you don't feel that way, it's fine, but, uh..."

"Just shut up and kiss me already," I interrupted. 

He blush formed across his cheeks. I smiled. In a matter of seconds, my lips were against his, and we were merged as one. It was like nothing I had ever experienced. It was perhaps the _best_ thing I had ever experienced, actually. This felt right. Not like how it felt when Winter had kissed me before. This... this felt like fate. Like it was meant to happen. 

His arms wrapped around my back, and pulled me in closer. My hand found its way up to his head, and my fingers brushed through his silky hair. All whilst our lips were connected. I didn't want that moment to end. 

**~Tuesday 11th November 2022~*~After School~*~Dalien Howler~**

Dab burst into my room, a huge grin across his face. I frowned. 

"What are you so happy about?" I asked. 

He laughed. "You know what, I think I have to thank you. Because you were completely right. Evan is... just... wow..."

I locked my phone, and slowly placed it down, turning towards Dab. "What do you-"

"We, uh, we kissed?"

My eyes widened. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!"

**~Wednesday 12th November 2022~*~Midnight~*~Dab Howlter~**

The feeling of Evan's lips against mine still lingered as I laid awake in bed that night. I could _not_ get that boy out of my mind. And, now that I knew for certain that he felt the same way? God, I had somehow managed to fall in love with him even more. 

I had barely gotten through the school day. Every single moment, all I wanted to do was stand up, go to him, and kiss him again. Which, of course, I couldn't exactly do, but I could fantasize. 

I was _allowed_ to fantasize now. It wouldn't be creepy. He knew that I liked him, and I knew that he liked me back. And, boy, did that make me happy. And... super relieved. 

We were in love. 

No doubts about it. 


	17. Old Hangouts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry for the long wait! again! istg i will actually finish this ok, putting like all of my effort into now so i can hopefully get it done in like the next week? maybe? i'm planning to. i have nothing planned anyway so i might as well.   
> also this chapter is so long like wow i may have gotten a little carried away. hope y'all enjoy tho! and that you're still actually here!

_I stared at Dab as we wandered through the city, watching his hair dance in the wind. He had decided to grow it out a couple months ago, and now almost reached his shoulders. Not quite, though. It was almost as if he'd gone back to his toddler self. Whenever I looked at old pictures of him, all I could think about was the striking resemblance he now held. When his hair was shorter, he had looked nothing like he used too._

_There was some sort of festival in the city, which Dab has dragged me out too. Not that I was complaining. I enjoyed spending time with him, and festivals were always fun. Neither of his parents nor mine had wanted to come along with us, so we had come alone. Which was... great, really. Perfect. With nobody around to tell us what to do or what not to do, we were completely free. It felt nice to have that independence._

_And there was something about the city itself that just made everything even more perfect. Even more beautiful. It was such an amazing place, such a nice environment, that just made me wish I could go there more._

_"I love the city," I had told Dab that day, when we were sat at a small table just outside a café. "I'm gonna move here someday."_

_Dab smiled. "Maybe we could live out here together."_

_I stared at him. Stared at his smile. I found myself smiling back. "You really think?"_

_"Yeah, it'd be fun," he replied. "We could get an apartment together, I could open up an art gallery, you could... go... do your science... stuff."_

_"But... what about your own family?" I asked._

_"I'm not gonna have to live with them once I'm older, Evan," he said, laughing slightly._

_I laughed along with him. "You know what I mean. Your future family. Wouldn't you want to live with your own wife and kids?"_

_He placed his hand on mine. "You are my_ best _friend, Evan. You would come first."_

_And it honestly seemed like the perfect plan. If only we had stayed friends long enough to actually remember it. Perhaps the reason as to why leaving Willow Creek was so painful for me was because it ruined all the plans I used to have with Dab. Even if we had drifted apart, there had always been a chance for that friendship to be rekindled. But I had to leave, and that ruined it all._

_We were so lucky to have found each other again, all those years later._

**~Saturday 15th November** **2022** **~*~** **Before Lunch** **~*~Evan Pancakes~**

It had been a few days since Dab and I had started dating, and those days had been the best days of my life. It made me so happy to finally be sure of my feelings, and of his feelings. I knew that he loved me, and that felt amazing.

He had texted me the night before to meet him at the park, at eleven sharp. Of course I had accepted. And shown up early. Mostly because I wanted to get out of the house, since there had been a weird tension between me and my parents recently. Just because I hadn't told them about Dab. Which made sense, this was new, I didn't _have_ to tell them. It just felt strange keeping it a secret from them. So maybe that 'tension' was just something that I felt. Something I made up. Whatever the case, I wasn't ready to tell them. Yet.

I sat on the edge of the fountain, waiting for Dab to arrive. He showed up just after eleven. I was prepared to call him out on that, since he had stated that he wanted me to show up at eleven _sharp_ , but before I could even speak, he had grabbed my hand and we were halfway out the park.

"Hey, what are you-"

"I have a taxi waiting," Dab interrupted, with no further explanation. I didn't bother to reply. I trusted that he knew what he was doing. Besides, soon after we were sat down in the back of a taxi, our hands still connected across the middle seat.

The car began to drive away. I looked over at Dab, who was staring out the window as we made our way out of town. His hair was back to his natural brown, with a few purple streaks down one side. I also noticed that he was wearing eyeliner, flicked off into a sharp wing. That looked pretty cool, I had to admit. It just seemed to make me fall even deeper in love. _Every time_ I looked at him, I seemed to love him just that little bit more.

"Hey, uh, where are we going?" I asked, finally.

His head shot over, and he smirked. "You'll find out soon enough."

"Wow, that totally doesn't make me extremely afraid of what you're planning for me," I said, completely monotonously.

Dab laughed. "Don't worry, dude, it'll be fun!"

I nodded. "Yup. I bet it will be."

"It _will_!" He sighed. "I promise you, I am not taking you out into the woods to murder you, and I'm not taking you anywhere where I can embarrass you."

"You'll probably find a way to embarrass me anyway," I stated.

He raised an eyebrow. "Really? Since when?"

"Remember that one time you randomly gave me a rose when we went to the city?" I recalled. "Like, on Valentines Day?"

He gasped, over-dramatically. "You remember that?"

"Yeah, it was a nice day," I replied, "and it was a pretty rose."

He smiled. "But how does this relate to me embarrassing you?"

"You gave it to me on Valentines Day!" I laughed, quietly. "With all those couples around? Also giving their significant others roses?"

He hummed. "Yeah, I guess I can see how that'd be embarrassing. We were, like, what, ten at the time?" I nodded in confirmation. "You were very happy with the rose, though."

I smiled. "Yeah. You're right."

"We're here," the taxi driver announced, interrupting our little conversation.

Dab squeezed my hand. "You ready?"

"Don't have much of a choice, really."

We both smiled at each other, before Dab quickly payed the driver, and dragged me out of the car.

**~Saturday 15th November 2022~*~Lunch~*~Dab Howlter~**

I led Evan through the streets of the city. It really shouldn't have been much of a surprise that I would take him here - we had been here enough times, honestly - but he still seemed to act like it was a huge revelation. There was an excited glimmer in his eye that I kept catching myself staring at. Or maybe I was just staring into his eyes. They were pretty distracting.

Our fingers were still intertwined. Perhaps that was our way of making up for all those years of us not being together, even when it was clear that we should be. I knew for certain that I'd never let go of him. I couldn't bare the thought of letting go.

"Can you tell me where you're taking me now?" Evan asked.

I shook my head. "Patience."

We turned a corner, and walked across the main square. A fountain stood in the middle, with a few children running around and families stood to the side. I thought back to when Evan and I used to come here. That was always such a fun time.

However, we didn't stop there. I continued walking with Evan at my side, down a smaller street south of the fountain. There were small shops lining the cobbled street, on both sides, and, at the very end, a small café, with tables set up just outside the door.

Evan stopped in his tracks, staring at the café ahead. I turned around to face him. A slight blush had formed across his cheeks.

"This... this café..." he mumbled. "Is this-?"

I smiled. "Yup. It is that café."

He smiled back. "I almost forgot this place existed."

We continued walking down the road, and finally reached the café. We quickly ordered from inside, before taking our seats at one of he tables, the very same table we used to use whenever we came.

We had been eleven when we had first discovered this place, and since then we had come whenever we were in the city alone. But once we had split apart, and Evan had moved away, we never came again. _I_ had almost forgotten about it, until I remembered that conversation we had had here. That conversation that would have been so different if we hadn't been such oblivious idiots.

"Remember the last time we were here?" I asked.

He tilted his head.

"We promised each other that when we were older, we'd move in together in an apartment here," I explained. "But you were afraid that that wouldn't happen, because eventually we'd both get wives and stuff."

He laughed. "Funny how that turned out, huh?"

I laughed along with him. "Well, I've been thinking, and-" I took his hands, gripping them tight. "-I realised that could _actually_ happen. Now that we are, y'know, together. We could totally get an apartment here."

I let go of his hands as our order arrived. Just a drink for each of us, and a margarita pizza to share. Simple, but that was fine. Perfect, actually.

"We're still in school, Dab," Evan finally said. "Isn't it a little too early to be thinking about that?"

I shrugged. "Well, obviously we have a few years to wait, but my point is it _could_ happen."

"It could." He smiled. "It probably will."

We sat in silence for a few moments as we ate. I stared at him the entire time. Every one of his actions was mesmerising. Like how he would occasionally fiddle with the collar of his shirt, and undo and redo his top button. I couldn't help but find that habit kind of cute. However, I couldn't stare forever. There was a reason I had brought him here.

I cleared my throat. "Hey, Evan, can I ask you a question?"

"You just did," he replied.

I rolled my eyes. "You know what I-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean." He giggled. "Go ahead."

I took a deep breath. "So, uh, there's this school dance happened at the beginning of December, and... I was, uh..." Ugh. Why did I have to get all tongue-tied at this sort of stuff? I was the romance guy! This shouldn't have been so damn hard! "You, we, I-"

"You want me to go with you?" he guessed.

I let out a sigh of relief. "Yes. That."

Evan smiled _that_ smile. The smile that made me melt inside. "Of course I'll go with you. That shouldn't even be a question."

I didn't need to reply. I just grinned, and took his hand again, bringing it up to my lips. I noticed a slight lipstick stain on his hand as he drew back. I also noticed the blush across his cheeks. That incredibly cute blush, that I loved to pieces.

Or maybe it was just him that I loved to pieces.


	18. Old Acceptance

_Admitting your feelings to another person is always a hard thing to do. Especially after it was so hard to admit these feelings to_ yourself _. You've just realised that you felt that way, and accepted the fact that they were okay, and suddenly you have to convince someone else the same thing? It's difficult. I never understood how people could do it that easily._

_Perhaps that's why I never really told anyone how I felt. Before I met Winter, I had never been in a relationship. I would see people that I thought I liked, and watch them, admire them from afar. But I would never approach them. Never tell them what I think of them. Which only ever lead to heartbreak, as I watched them pursue their own romances, whilst I was left completely alone._

_One of the many things I admired about Winter was how easy it was for her to admit her feelings to others._ _How quickly she did it, as well. Even with me._

_I wished I could do that too. But it wasn't that simple._

**~Sunday 16th November 2022~*~Night~*~Winter Holiday~**

"Have you told anyone?" Gabby asked me, as she spread her legs out across the bed. 

I frowned. "Told anyone what?"

"About us," she clarified.

"Oh, right, uh..." I gave her a small, slightly forced smile. "No?"

There was silence for a moment. I looked around her room, examining everything in sight - the posters hanging on the plain white walls, the overflowing book case in the corner, the single blue rug on the wooden floor, the clothes scattered randomly around the room. Then I looked back at her, staring at those strips of blue, those warm eyes, those _goddamn freckles_ , everything that made me fall in love just that little bit more whenever I saw her. 

I cleared my throat. "I mean, people will find out eventually, right? Which is fine. I'm cool with that."

Gabby hummed. "How about you and I go to that dance together on Friday?"

My heart immediately began to sour. Was she... asking me out on a date? That was... Wow. Even if said date would take place at school, and she was only asking because it was customary for a person in a relationship to ask their partner to go with them to such events, it made me excited. Excited for what could happen. 

"If you don't want to," Gabby added, her words merging together as she spoke quickly, "then that's fine, we don't have to go together if that makes you uncomfortable, y'know? Like, it's totally fine if you'd rather just hang, we could watch the stars again if you want, or, like, see a movie, or-"

I cut her off by wrapping my arms around her waist, and pecking her on the cheek. "I'd love to go," I whispered, leaning my head on her shoulder. 

She smiled, and melted into the hug. She didn't speak another word - silence filled the room, a comfortable silence. Everything seemed perfect. 

**~Monday 17th November 2022~*~Lunch~*~Evan Pancakes~**

Dab and I sat down at our usual table at lunch, just the two of us. That had become the norm since I stopped talking with Winter. Which was fine, really. I was happy to be with Dab. He didn't seem too unpleased with moving away from his old friend group - in fact, it had appeared to be a huge relief for them. 

"So," he began, breaking the silence, "are you going to tell your parents?"

I blinked. "I don't know. Why?"

Dab shrugged. "Well, my parents know. About me being gay, that is. And about us."

"Yeah..." I sighed. "I don't know, though. Like, I wouldn't know how to tell them." 

He took my hand, gripping it tight in reassurance. "You don't have to." 

_I kinda do, actually,_ I thought to myself. 

"But," he continued, "it'd probably be good if you did."

I nodded. "Yeah, you're right." I took a deep breath. "I'll, um, try to bring it up tonight."

"I'll be right across the road if you need me," he said. 

I laughed, slightly. "Thanks."

"Good luck."

**~Monday 17th November 2022~*~After School~*~Evan Pancakes~**

When I got home from school that night, I found Mum in the kitchen, washing the dishes. After chucking my bag down on the floor by the door, I wandered into the kitchen and leant against the counter, looking over to Mum. She hadn't seem to notice me come in. 

"Hey, Mum," I greeted. 

"Hi Evan," she returned, still with her back to me. 

I bit my lip. Was I actually about to do this? I wasn't entirely sure if it was the best time. I had just got home, I didn't know what kind of mood she was in, I had no idea how the hell I was supposed to do this. However, I supposed that if I didn't do it then, I might never. It was best to get it out the way, do it whilst it was still in my mind. 

"Uh, I got a date for the dance thing on Friday," I mentioned, figuring that that would be a good way to bring up the fact that my date wasn't exactly female, and therefore bring up the fact that I was in no way straight. 

Mum hummed in delight. "What's her name?" she asked. 

"Dab," I replied, a little too quickly. 

She stopped, her hands freezing in place as she was picking up a plate. She soon composed herself, however. "Sorry, did I hear you correctly?"

I took a deep breath. " _His_ name is Dab," I said. "Y'know, Dab from across the road? Dil's son? My best friend? And, uh, boyfriend now, I guess?"

She didn't reply for a moment. My shoulder's tensed. Millions of thoughts rushed to my brain, screaming at me to leave, to escape back to Dab. I didn't want to hear her reaction, did I? I would get hurt, and I didn't want that. I had to leave. I didn't have to come back. Not when she didn't like who I was. 

I tried to leave the room, but I was somehow glued to the spot. Maybe the part of my mind that she believed that Mum would be fine with it had finally taken control back. I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. 

"I, uh, I guess this is my way of telling you that..." I bit my lip. "I'm gay. Or, uh, not straight, at least."

She slowly nodded. "Okay. That's... alright. Dab's a nice kid."

I let out a sigh of relief. My shoulder's relaxed. "Yeah, he's great."

Mum turned back around, smiling at me. "You want to help cook dinner?" she invited. "You can tell me more about you and Dab, if you want."


	19. Old Music

_I sat in the corner of the hall, looking out across the dance floor. I had never really been one for dancing, but everyone from school was there. Mum hadn't let me stay at home._

_"It'll be fun!" she had said. "Maybe Dab will be there."_

_"Mum, I haven't talked to Dab for, like, a year," I had argued._

_"Well, what about your other friends?"_

_I shrugged. "They probably all of dates."_

_"You're only ten, Evan."_

_"I know. They don't seem to care."_

_I could see Dab across the room, standing in the opposite corner with his friends. It looked like he was laughing. I would have gone and said hello - it_ was _our last day of this school, I probably should have spoken to him at least once - but my body wouldn't move. He wouldn't have wanted to speak with me, anyway. He had his own friends._

_I recognised the song playing. I was pretty sure that I liked that one - Dab and I had done karaoke of it that one time. I shook that thought out of my brain. I didn't need to be thinking about Dab. I was supposed to be having a fun time, with friends. This was our_ last _chance for who knows how long. I wouldn't be attending the same school as most of my friends next year._

_I saw a couple people across the hall who I occasionally ate lunch with. They were probably the closest thing to friends that I could see around. Deciding that I had been sitting in the corner alone for too long, I stood up and made my way over. I spent the rest of the night with them._

~*~

_Evan had moved from his spot. I wasn't sure exactly when, but it must have been some time between me going to get a drink and_ our _song playing. Because one minute he was sat there, and I was thinking about going over to say hey, but then I became distracting by a song that I_ really _liked, that I knew he also liked, and my friends were beginning to dance around me, and by the time I was free to look for him again, he wasn't there._

_Oh well. I would find him eventually. He lived across the road - if I wanted to speak to him so badly, I could have just visited his house that night._

_Except, that didn't seem right. This dance seemed like the right moment to talk to him. It all seemed perfect. And I had been planning everything in my head, an apology for ignoring him for the past year or so, a declaration of a newly promised friendship. But he wasn't there anymore. It was too late._

_For a split second, I locked eye contact with him across the hall. I gave him a small smile. He disappeared into the crowd._

**~Saturday 6th December 2022~*~Dab Howlter~*~Evening~**

" _Ugh_ , why aren't I allowed to go?" Dalien moaned, draping himself over my bed.

I held back a laugh. "You're too young, Dale."

"I'm _basically_ the same age as you."

"No, no you're not." This time a laugh came out. "You're still a child."

"So?"

"The dance is just for our year, anyway," I said, straightening my bowtie in the mirror. I quickly tied my hair back into a icy-blue bun, having just dyed the bottom half of my hair, keeping the roots my natural brown colour. I turned around to face Dalien, and held out my arms. "How do I look?"

Dale smiled. "Like you're ready for anything."

**~Saturday 6th December 2022~*~Winter Holiday~*~Evening~**

I wrapped my fingers around Gabby's, squeezing her hand tight. We were standing right outside the school. The dance had started fifteen minutes ago - we still hadn't gone in. To be completely honest, I wasn't sure if I would be able to. My feet wouldn't allow me to move. Gabby, being the amazing person that she was, wasn't forcing me.

"It'll be fine, Win," she said softly, trying to calm me down.

Her voice was soothing. For a moment, my legs allowed me to move forward, but stopped once I saw a couple turn around the corner, hand in hand.

"Don't worry, nobody cares that we're together," Gabby reassured me. It was strange how she always knew exactly what was up. Like she could read my mind. "I know _at least_ fifteen other gays in this school."

I let out a small giggle. "Yeah... okay."

She started to walk ahead. I followed. Once we were right by the gate, I noticed that the two people walking down the street were Evan and Dab. That was... strange. Although, I hadn't talked to them since the breakup, so I supposed anything could have happened. And it wasn't so strange that Evan would go with Dab, since according to Dalien's blog, Evan had been cheating on me the entire time. Not that I really believed that - the site had been taken down since I found it - but I would be stupid to ignore the fact that they were possibly together.

I didn't care if they were. I had Gabby now, anyway.

They might have just come as friends.

Gabby led me into the hall and to a small table in the back. The room was already full - it was a miracle that we even found a table. People were flocking to the dance floor, semi-illuminated by fast-moving lights of every colours. Teachers were scattered around the room, most of which looked as if they wanted to leave. If they did, I don't think any of the students would have noticed. Some pop song blasted out of the speakers on the walls, a song that I vaguely recognised from hearing it one time on the radio. Or maybe at one of the Howlter parties.

"You want a drink?" Gabby asked, finally letting go of my hand.

I nodded. "Yes please. You know what I like."

"That I do." She smirked. "Keep the table, I'll be right back."

"Okay." She planted a kiss to my cheek, and I watched as she watched away.

**~Saturday 6th December 2022~*~Evan Pancakes~*~Evening~**

The doorbell rang. I jumped off the couch, arriving at the door in a split second. Possibly from excitement. Every time I looked at Dab, every time I _thought_ about him, I fell in love even more.

As soon as I opened the door, Dab enveloped me in a hug, squeezing me tight into his chest. "I missed you," he whispered into my ear.

"You live across the road," I whispered back.

"But I haven't seen you."

"You literally saw me less than twenty four hours ago."

He was silent for a moment. "Still."

We erupted into a fit of giggles. I really did love him. There was no doubt that he felt the same way. We had only been together for a few weeks, almost a month, but I felt as if this was perfect. Like this was destiny. Like we were supposed to be together forever.

God, that sounded really cheesy. Dab was starting to rub off on me.

"So, are you ready, my love?" Dab asked, smiling.

I smiled back. "As ready as I'll ever be."

We linked arms, almost out of habit (when did linking arms become a habit?), and began to walk down the road, towards school where the dance would be taking place. I had been waiting so long for this, my heart buzzing with excitement from the very moment he asked. Either that, or from nerves. To be honest, parties and dances weren't really my thing. I could deal with the Howlter parties because I knew and liked everybody there, but with school stuff? I _hated_ most of our classmates. Or they hated me. I wasn't sure. But I couldn't help but be nervous about the upcoming dance.

Dab and I as a couple weren't exactly 'out' amongst our peers. Like, I wouldn't be surprised if people had already guessed, but we hadn't said anything outright. Or kissed around people from the school. Or posted anything online. I mean, we had held hands and stuff, but that wasn't anything knew, really. People knew that we were close friends. A lot of them probably assumed we were _just_ friends, though.

At some point, our arms moved down so that our hands were connected.

As we walked through the gates, I caught a glimpse of light blonde hair, a face that I recognised - Winter Holiday. She was with a girl who I'd seen around school a few times, but didn't know the name off. In fact, I had actually seen her with Winter quite a lot in the past few weeks. Strange. I wondered what the connection was.

Dab dragged me to the dance floor. When did we enter the school? Oh well, we were there now. And the song playing was _really_ good, one of my favourites. One of Dab's favourite. We had sung karaoke of it before, I think.

Dab smirked. " _Baby can't you see_ ," he sang, " _I'm calling._ "

I laughed as he continued to sing and dance, spinning me around the floor. Holding on to me tight and never letting go.

" _A guy like you, should wear a warning._ " He didn't have a bad voice either. It was... actually pretty good. Soft. Not perfectly on key, but it had a certain charm to it. Maybe that was just because I loved him. Or maybe because he was just a generally charming dude. " _You're dangerous, I'm falling._ "

A few other couples and groups of friends surrounded us on the dance floor. Not many, but it was still pretty crowded. A lot of people had already claimed tables - there didn't appear to be any tables left, actually. That was fine. The entire point of a dance was to _dance_ , I supposed. Even if most of the people here hated that.

" _There's no escape,_ " Dab continued. " _I can't wait. I need a hit, baby, give me it._ "

I smiled at him as we made our way down the dance floor, closer to the speakers where there was less people. I caught a few people staring at us as we moved through the crowd. I tried my best to ignore them. I guess I knew that this would happen - this was the first school event that Dab and I had come to as a couple.

" _You're dangerous, I'm loving it._ "

Dab pulled me closer, pushing his lips against mine. I melted into the kiss. I wasn't sure if people noticed, but kind of hoped that they did. That would be the easiest way to come out. Just straight-up make out with the love of your life in front of your entire year. Great thinking, Dab.

Nobody said anything, though. They were probably all too busy. Or they just didn't care.

_"Too high, can't come down_ ," Dab sang, pulling away. " _Losing my head, spinnin' round and round._ _Do you feel me now?_ "

My eyes glanced over to the corner of the room, where I spotted Winter. She was with that girl, but the girl looked as if she was about to leave. She said something to Winter, leant down, and... kissed her. Then she was gone.

Dab's voice brought my attention back to him. "You gotta sing at some point, Ev."

I rolled my eyes, but laughed and decided to take on his request. " _With a taste of your lips, I'm on a ride._ "

He grinned, the disco lights making a rainbow appear on his face. He decided to join in for the next line, so that we were singing together, in perfect harmony, just like the beats of our hearts.

" _You're toxic, I'm slippin' under,_ " we sang. " _With a taste of a poison paradise. I'm addicted to you_ -"

I started at him as we stood together, sang together. Sang a song that we loved. Not because it was a particularly good song (although it certainly was), or because we particularly liked the lyrics (I, for one, wasn't a fan of the lyrics themselves, but the song was catchy so that was good enough for me). It was more because of the memory that it served.

" _Don't you know that you're toxic._ "

We continued to dance and scream the lyrics at the top of our lungs. Every so often I found myself glancing back at Winter's table. The girl still hadn't come back.

When the song came to an end, Dab looked at me, frowning. "Okay, we are going to go speak to Winter," he announced.

I blinked. "Huh?"

"Don't think that I haven't noticed you glancing at her throughout half of our favourite song."

I sighed. "Okay, fine."

He began to drag me over to her. The other girl still hadn't returned.

**~Saturday 6th December 2022~*~Winter Holiday~*~Evening~**

I stared at the table as I waited for Gabby to return. I supposed she was waiting in queue. Which was fine. I was fine here sitting by myself.

"Winter."

I looked up upon hearing my name, frowning a little when I saw that it was Evan. With Dab. Holding hands, still.

I plastered on a smile. "Evan. Dab." To be honest, I still felt conflicted over Evan. Sure, he was a good guy and all, but I couldn't help but be... kind of upset over the whole situation. How he had dated me for so long, knowing that he didn't feel anything towards me, and then lied about it? And with the added detail of him possibly cheating on me with Dab...

Whatever. This was supposed to be a fun night. I couldn't stay mad at him forever.

"Can I, uh, talk to you for a minute?" Evan asked.

I considered for a moment. I really didn't want to see him. But maybe this wouldn't go too badly. Gabby was around, at least. "Sure."

"Okay, great." He took a seat opposite me.

I frowned. "Someone is sitting there."

He nodded. "Yeah, I'll only be a second, I promise."

"You're gonna have to be less than a second," I replied, looking behind him. He turned around. Gabby was approaching, with two drinks in. She placed on in front of me. "Hey."

Gabby looked over at Evan. "Why is he in my seat?"

I sighed. "He wanted to talk, or something."

She frowned. "Right."

"Yeah, uh, about talking," Evan chimed in, "I was wondering who this was?"

I stared at him, blankly. "This is Gabriella Pendleton. My girlfriend."

Evan looked slightly taken aback by this, which amused me, but he quickly composed himself. "Okay. Cool. Glad to see that you found someone."

I rolled my eyes. "I thought that I found someone when I found _you_ , but you clearly had your eyes on someone else." I jerked my head to the side, gesturing to Dab, who looked as if he wanted to get out of there.

Evan sighed. "Right, that's why I wanted to talk. I... Dab and I are dating. I really can't lie about that. But... I promise you that I never cheated. I've been with Dab for a less than a month."

I nodded slowly. "Okay..."

"I'm really sorry about the breakup. Really. I... I probably could have handled that better." He took a deep breath. "But I really want to still be friends with you. You are a great person, Winter. I really hope this... this entire thing doesn't ruin our chances of being friends again."

I was silent for a moment as I considered that. He did seem to be telling the truth. And I appreciated the apology, at least. "Just friends?"

"Just friends," he confirmed. "I'm... sorry that I couldn't do more."

I shook my head. "No-"

He frowned. "What?"

"I wasn't finished." I sighed, and smiled. "What I was going to say was: No, that's perfect. I don't... I have Gabby now. Just friends is amazing."

Evan smiled. "Thanks."

"Now, you get back to your boyfriend," I said. "Have a fun night, you two."

"The same for you and Gabriella."

"It's Gabby," my girlfriend quickly added.

He nodded. "Okay. You and Gabby."

"Now, can I _please_ have my seat back?" she asked.

"Oh-" He made a face of realisation, and stood up. "-right."

I waved at the other couple as they returned to the dance floor, before turning to my drink and taking a sip.

Gabby smiled at me. "All good?"

"All good."

**~Saturday 6th December 2022~*~Dab Howlter~*~Midnight~**

Evan snuggled up to me as we laid in bed. He had come round to my house for a sleepover after the party, which I couldn't have been happier about. And as we shared body heat on the cold winter night, everything seemed perfect.

"I'm glad that we stopped being just friends," Evan mumbled, beginning to close his eyes. "I can't even remember the time when we were still just friends."

I quietly laughed. "I don't think we ever were."

He didn't reply. We were comfortable in each other's presence. Perfectly content. We slowly drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh boi that chapter was long (literally 2800 words what happened) 
> 
> i did want to get this out sooner, but it took longer to write. mostly, i just wanted to wrap up the whole thing with winter and evan. i didn't want to end the story with those two on a bad note. so, yeah, take this. 
> 
> and this is almost finished! like, this was technically the last real chapter. wow. don't worry tho, still got the epilogue coming your way! 
> 
> i hope you enjoyed~


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